Robes are stupid. My sorcerer dresses like Petyr Baelish.
To expand: if you are a mage, dress like a noble. Do not dress like a wizard. Pointy conical hat and sky-blue robes is medieval semaphore for “kill first and with extreme prejudice.” Tailored black silk over cloth-of-gold and studded with rubies says “Harmless, but valuable; ransom if possible or kill last.”
If you dress like a noble, they’re not going to pay attention as you take a turn or two to back away from the melee and prepare yourself. The ruse is only broken when you reveal yourself, at which point 8d6 fire damage is screaming toward them at Mach Fuck anyway, so no big.
counterpoint: if you don’t get to dress like someone ran a magical thrift shop through a rototiller and frankensteined the pieces back together what’s the god-damned point of being a wizard
The sartorial differences between wizards and sorcerers are on display, I think.
That makes perfect sense, really, since sorcerers don’t generally get a choice about gaining spellcasting abilities and might not want to advertise them 24/7 whereas wizards put a lot of effort into becoming wizards and didn’t spend years in Wizard Grad School just to be low-key about it.
The passenger steamer SS Warrimoo was quietly knifing its way through
the waters of the mid-Pacific on its way from Vancouver to Australia.
The navigator had just finished working out a star fix and brought
Captain John DS. Phillips, the result. The Warrimoo’s position was LAT
0º 31’ N and LONG 179 30’ W. The date was 31 December 1899.
“Know what this means?” First Mate Payton broke in, “We’re only a few
miles from the intersection of the Equator and the International Date
Line”. Captain Phillips was prankish enough to take full advantage of
the opportunity for achieving the navigational freak of a lifetime.
He called his navigators to the bridge to check & double check the
ship’s position. He changed course slightly so as to bear directly on
his mark. Then he adjusted the engine speed.
The calm weather & clear night worked in his favor. At mid-night the
SS Warrimoo lay on the Equator at exactly the point where it crossed
the International Date Line! The consequences of this bizarre position
were many:
The forward part (bow) of the ship was in the Southern Hemisphere &
in the middle of summer.
The rear (stern) was in the Northern Hemisphere & in the middle of
winter.
The date in the aft part of the ship was 31 December 1899.
In the bow (forward) part it was 1 January 1900.
—
This ship was therefore not only in:
Two different days,
Two different months,
Two different years,
Two different seasons
But in two different centuries - all at the same time!
the cool thing about having an idiot alt right supporting brother is when he gets mad over dumb shit my sister and i go “It’s concerning how such a small thing triggers such a strong reaction from you.” in the family groupchat and he’ll see the word “trigger” in relation to him and go fucking nuclear
the downside about having such a dipshit brother is literally every thing else about him
case in point: he’s angry about Stranger because she knocked over a glass he left on the counter overnight and said if we don’t find her owner by tomorrow he’ll throw her out the window.
I went “It’s concerning how something so small triggers such a strong reaction from you. Stranger is a kitten, and we’ve only had her for a few days. Maybe you should calm down before threatening violence to a fucking kitten.”
This escalated his anger, and he started texting back how he won’t really hurt her, but he doesn’t want her to track litter everywhere. My sister responded “Maybe you can keep your door closed while she stays with her so it’s a safe space away from cat hair and kitty litter.”
We heard him yell from upstairs and he turned off his phone.
this is god tier trolling, and i’m in genuine awe of it
“tall/small couples are problematic because there’s a power imbalance” is NOT one of the cold takes i expected to see at the end of 2018, and YET,
*breaking up with my s.o.* it’s not you, it’s just you’re 6'4" and tumblr told me that means our relationship is unhealthy,
This is apparently the discourse in question?
power imballance my ass. have you ever seen a short person after you comment that theyre short? they will rip off your legs. what they lack in height they more than make up in ferocity.
i spent christmas alone while my family got together and fought, and honestly i feel so good about this
i bought myself presents, cooked a big meal, drank wine and watched Home Alone 3 w/ my dog. I don’t feel sorry for myself at all.
meanwhile my sister threatened to disown my dad so he threatened to disown her, while my mom enabled and my other sister downed a bottle of wine to deal.
on the other side of the country, i was busy discovering, to my delight, that the that the 3rd installment of the Home Alone franchise not only stood up to the test of time, but contains some of the best oneliners and comedic timing I have ever seen.
honestly, keep toxic people out of your life. family isn’t everything, and bad family is often worse than no family. don’t be afraid to put in some distance, especially during high stress times like the holidays. you don’t actually owe them anything.
being alone for the holidays is so much better than being with people who make you unhappy.
the 2 responses i’ve gotten to this post
Heartfelt, supportive, people feeling encouraged and empowered
If various companies think that pulling their content from Netflix so they can host their own streaming service will make them sign up to theirs then they are wrong. It will just make me pirate their content again.
Dove chocolate and Dove soap are two different companies who havent sued each other because they have different trademarks lol
Damn and I really all this time just thought dove (the soap people) had a meeting one day and were just like “…. we might fuck around and make some chocolate”
With Doomsday quickly approaching, now’s the time to send everyone confessions/messages that you’ve been too shy to send in the past. It could very well be now or never…
Headcanon that in the new good future where Marty McFly never has his accident, he does become a famous musician, while still going on time travel adventures with Doc, and then when the internet comes along, people on forums and message boards start discovering and posting photos of people in the past who look eerily like famous rock star Marty McFly, and as time goes on, “Marty McFly is a time traveller” becomes one of the biggest and most long running memes on the internet.
When Doc finds out he freaks out and panicks and makes blog posts (because of COURSE Doc runs a blog) talking about how UTTERLY RIDICULOUS the idea of a time travelling rock star is, which the internet finds hilarious and only makes the meme spread more.
Marty meanwhile thinks the whole thing is the funniest thing ever and is just wheezing at every new forum or jokey article about it, and directly addresses the meme in interviews, bringing up this “crazy conspiracy” that people have, until eventually he can just say things like “well of course I am a time traveller” or “oh you like my hat? Thank you I got it in the 1910s”, and people just crack up, and Marty cracks up too because no-one realises that he’s not even lying.
When Marty starts doing this Doc’s blog posts get even more annoyed and passive aggressive, saying things like “even if time travel WAS possible, a SENSIBLE time traveller would KEEP OUT OF THE PUBLIC EYE and not just TELL EVERYONE LIVE ON TV”
Eventually a secondary meme starts up where people start joking “Doctor Emmett Brown is a time traveller himself and that’s why he’s so worked up about it” and Doc very nearly just deletes his blog and throws his computer in a skip.
marty goes to comicon and takes a picture with people who cosplay victoria era stuff and people who cosplay robots
Dash: *pauses daydream about zombie ninjas and cyborg nazis from the future* You.
if you think about it, electronic prosthesis are becoming more widely used these days and also the Nazis are back as a political force so the future is here… yay?
No zombie ninjas yet though. Unless of course they’re just so skilled we never see them.
i’m sure bohemian rhapsody is a lovely film but nothing will be a greater tribute to queen than that scene from drake and josh where they’re trapped inside because of a storm and everyone starts singing ‘we will rock you’
do u ever wonder abt urself from an external pov??? bc like. everyone is p complicated and contradictory on the inside, but other ppl get a very simplified version of who u r based on ur interactions w them or what they see u doin
like if i was a cartoon character, what archetype would i be? if i was a design, if i was a DESIGNED person, what parts of me would be the most cohesive/emphasized, and which less significant traits would not be perceived at all???? its just bonkers to think abt i guess
