twas the night before Christmas, when all through the [car dealership] not a creature was stirring, not even a [new 2017 car make and model] the [consumer title]s were hung by the [local car dealership location] with care, in hopes that [new 2017 car make and model] soon would be there [the sound of the advertisement team pleasuring themselves on this clever commercial]
hi as the holiday season is going to start soon please remember two things:
don’t donate to the salvation army because it is a racist, homophobic, all around shitty charity
don’t yell at the salvation army bell ringers just because they volunteered to work for this shitty charity. it’s likely that they don’t actually know what they’re promoting and you yelling at someone when they believe they’re honestly doing a good deed is going to help no one.
Both of these things are good advice
Explaining to the people that you enter the store with why you don’t donate to the Salvation Army, possibly within earshot of the bell ringers? Perfectly acceptable.
Are you looking for a female Salandit so you can get your lovely Salazzle for your Pokemon Sun and Moon team? Tired of dealing with that awful 87.5% male to 12.5% female ratio? Then look no further than this pretty mofo right here:
THAT’S RIGHT, YA BOY SYLVEON. But why this magnificent little ribbon twirler? Because of this:
When your Eevee evolves into Sylveon with 5 hearts in Pokemon Refresh, it will automatically get the ability Cute Charm. This is where the kicker comes in!
THE CHANCE OF ENCOUNTERING A POKEMON OF THE OPPOSITE GENDER IS 66.7%, REGARDLESS OF GENDER RATIOS!
So go grab yourself a male Eevee off of route 4, love the shit out of the little man in Refresh, and go catch yourself some female Salandits to get that Salazzle! Happy Hunting!
Take your nearest twink to draw out any elusive dominatrixes
