Silver Tongue

Nov 27

• me: goddamn why is my computer going so slow??
• my computer: you need to restart me
• me: it makes no sense!
• my computer: i have not slept in three months
• me: what a piece of junk
• my computer: please..let me rest.

bloodstoneandaquamarine:

siberianchan:

booblegumbitch:

croisvoix:

arminjagers:

things straight girls need to stop doing 

1. referring to platonic female friends as their “girlfriends” 
   
2. saying the words “dyke” or “lesbo” 
   
3. “marrying” their female friends on facebook as a joke 
   
4. assuming every lesbian/bi/pan girl is attracted to her 
   
5. saying that theyre “gay” because they like men 
   
6. telling trans men that they “make them question their sexuality” 

7. Hitting on trans women and saying it’s straight cause “you have a cock and I like those.”

8. Purposely trying to expose and talk about their bodies in front of queer girls in a ‘you can’t have this’ way

9. Assuming something has definitely happened between their female queer friends

10. Saying they’re accepting then pulling a face at anything ‘lesbian-ish’ mentioned or done in front of them

11: Treat their LGBTA+ friends and aquaintances aß assecoires. “This is Brad, my gay.” We’re not your pets. 12: Say: “Oh, you wouldn’t understand, it’s about a guy”/“It’s a straight thing”. Like what, you think we lack basic empathy?

12. Talking about being “a gay guy trapped in a straight girl’s body”

13. Hypersexualizing achillean relationships, calling two men sharing affection “sinful”

14. Treating and referring to their trans guy friends as females

(Source: pearlmemethyst-moved-blog, via robustquestioner)

[video]

ask-the-outlaws:

mollykittykat:

Oh my goodness, he’s scraping it into the garbage.

I fucking love Alfred. He is so fucking sassy.

(via robustquestioner)

hashtagdion:

warpstar:

idk why fingers in the mouth is so hot but it is

try letting your chicken fingers cool off before you eat them

(via guardingafterdawn-deactivated20)

[video]

noivern:

basiliskfree:

circesadventures:

rareandradiant-maiden:

noivern:

carbisari:

basiliskfree:

carbisari:

basiliskfree:

Today’s problem

what do chairs for dragons look like.

big comfy piles of pillows

Well, that don’t work in the scene I’m doing it’s too cute not to draw.

DAWWW SO CUTE :>

they use human chairs but really badly

same

Wait elongated chairs y’all. Eight chair legs instead of one, they can lie down majestically and put their chins on the table like they were always meant to.

@basiliskfree

I’m not sure if this is silly or a good idea lol

it’s not polite!

(via robustquestioner)

sapphiel:

why is this making me laughter harder than it should

Because it has perfect composition. You can look at this single picture and see exactly what happened

(Source: efunnypictures, via robustquestioner)

hill-creature:

mika-3mk29a:

idk why i just remembered this but all throughout kindergarten and first grade i used to draw a lil snail in the corner of every paper i had to turn in because it was a happy snail so i thought it would make my teachers happy when they were grading papers because i was a pure and simple child but in 2nd grade my teacher would take off 2 points if i drew it on my homework and 5 points if i drew it on a quiz or test so i stopped but like
it was so harmless it was just a lil shitty doodle of a smiling snail it wasn’t distracting me or anything from the task at hand
so i’d like to say to mrs whoeverthefuck that snail was supposed to be a happy thing u bitch

This perfectly describes what is wrong with our education system

(via )

adurot:

conspicuouslad:

just-shower-thoughts:

It would be so cool to have the possibility to turn off “audience laughter” when watching a sitcom.

But then how would you know where the jokes are?

I’ve heard Big Bang is super awkward and depressing without the laugh track.

Big bang is super awkward and depressing WITH a laughtrack. The worst part is that they over use laughtrack rather than only when there’s a joke.

(via adurot)