*yells incoherently about the founding principles of Christianity vs the evangelical/prosperity gospel/right-wing view of Christianity for a few hours*
Matthew 6:24: “No one can serve two masters; for either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and money.”
Matthew 19:20-23: Jesus said to [the rich young man], “If you want to be perfect, go, sell what you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; and come, follow Me.” But when the young man heard that saying, he went away sorrowful, for he had great possessions. Then Jesus said to his disciples, “Truly I tell you, it is difficult for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven. Again I tell you, it is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God.”
Capitalist “Christians” Today: I have stuff so Jesus must have blessed me! I’m going to Heaven for sure! By the way fuck the poor, Jesus must not like them or they’d have stuff too, it’s their own fault they’re suffering.
Jesus: I don’t remember saying it was Opposite Day when I stated those teachings, but,
I learned recently that before Martin Luther translated the bible to German, the people had no way of understanding scripture. Because of this, the common people depended on the church to tell them what was in the Holy Book. The church at the time, and the upper class folk took advantage of this by avoiding the parts of the Bible where it spoke about Jesus’s love for the meek and the poor and the outcasts. Instead they convinced everyone that the reason they were peasants was because God wanted them to be. It’s their divine calling to serve the church and the rich. When the Bible was translated to the vernacular, people went nuts after finding out Jesus loved the poor and outcasts and finding out that Jesus himself was a poor person. This sparked multiple peasants’ wars.
As bill wurtz put it in regards to the church abusing its power
She has a long torso and short limbs like humanoid skink. Also idfk what kind of cellular respiration cherubs use but I’m pretty sure they don’t need to breathe, since their adult forms are giant space snakes? Maybe she has ammonia based bodily solutions or something wild
THE LIST OF THINGS NINTENDO PREDATES INCLUDES, BUT IS NOT LIMITED TO:
THE SHERLOCK HOLMES FRANCHISE
UNITED STATES PRESIDENT DWIGHT D. EISHENHOWER’S BIRTH
THE NOVEL “DRACULA”
THE NOVELS “THE TIME MACHINE” AND “WAR OF THE WORLDS” BY H.G. WELLS
THE FIRST MODERN OLYMPIC GAMES
THE DISCOVERY OF HELIUM ON EARTH
… Okay. I believe you. But like… how?
NINTENDO WAS FOUNDED IN 1889 AS A CARD GAME MANUFACTURER AND ALL THOSE OTHER THINGS HAPPENED IN 1890 OR LATER
WHAT THE FUCK I THOUGHT DRACULA WAS EARLIER WHAT THE FUCK
YOU COULD WRITE A DRACULA FANFIC WHERE DRACULA TRAVELS TO JAPAN AND BUYS A PACK OF NINTENDO BRAND PLAYING CARDS AND IT WOULD BE HISTORICALLY ACCURATE. SAME DEAL FOR SHERLOCK HOLMES.
No no no no no!
Don’t write fanfic!
Those things are in the public domain!
You can legally write, publish, and sell a Dracula book where Dracula travels to Japan and buys a pack of Nintendo brand playing cards!
Same deal for Sherlock Holmes!
what if you write a book where dracula and sherlock holmes travel to japan at the same time and reach for the last pack of nintendo brand playing cards that they both wanted
