you know what i really want? a modern dudebro vampire. just a typical obnoxious straight boy in a neon tank top and cargo shorts who also happens to be a creature of the night.
“okay, dude, i’m only feeding on you ‘cause i’m starving and there aren’t any hot girls around. no homo.” “wait, you’re gonna suck my blood?” “no, i’m gonna drink your blood. i don’t suck, that’s gay. don’t make this weird, bro”
“ah, i see you’re staring pensively out the window, chad. ruminating on the curse of your newfound immortality?” “nah man, it’s just… i got, like, some flecks of blood on my adidas while i was feeding and they haven’t come out…”
“we do not drink… wine.” “okay but is beer cool? and can we still smoke weed?”
he joins a 24-hour gym because being undead and allergic to sunlight is no excuse for skipping leg day. tragic music swells as he looks over his “sun’s out guns out” tanks (he has seven of them). his coven is a fraternity. someone make this happen
ask and ye shall recieve
The number of times I have seen riffs on this in vampire games truly amuses me. It’s great.
Chaotic Evil: Being ahead by one point in smash brothers and running around until the timer runs out so you can’t be knocked out and end up in sudden death
i have this month’s glamour. THEY REALLY THINK GEAR SHIFTS ARE A MENORAH
I’M SCREAMING
wat D:
part of me refused to believe that a mainstream magazine could really misidentify gear shifts cuff links as menorah cuff links and advertise them as an appropriate hanukkah gift, but no, the goyim have gone and done it.
Doesn’t everyone light their menorahs from neutral to overdrive? Traditionnnnnn….. TRADITION
eightballexplosion-deactivated2 asked: Can I request a very chubby Rufioh, or a very chubby Porrim?? I never see those two characters be anything but thin or buff. I'd be honored!!
