I totally understand the appeal of pettiness, snark, and the pleasure of revenge. But seriously, where’s the satisfaction if someone hasn’t actually wronged you? Meanness is only fun if they’ve got it coming.
People need to realize that there’s a difference between straight people and Straight People™
Straight person: Hey, you got a new haircut. Looks really good.
Straight Person™: No homo, but your haircut looks good on you.
In case you were confused 👌
Just like how there are white people who are gay and then there are the White Gays
White people who are gay: “I’m gay.”
White Gays: “I can’t believe I got accused of racism after calling that person a racial slur! I mean, I know what racism looks like because I’ve been discriminated for my sexuality. How is me being racist even possible? I’M GAY!”
Lmao all the angry White and Straight people in the comments, keep reblogging
neurotypical: i don’t have any mental illnesses or disorders Neurotypical™: Happiness is a choice!! ✨✨Have you tried yoga? Drink more water and eat kale ✨✨
cis person: i identify completely as my assigned gender
Cis Person™: It doesn’t matter what you identify as, cause you still have Female Genitals! I’m not being offensive!! Read a book on Human Biology! 🚹🚺
men: I identify as male.
Men™: feminazis ruin everything, get back in the kitchen and make me a sandwich bitch
atheists: I don’t believe in god or identify with a religion
Atheists™: Don’t fucking talk to me if you believe in God. Open your closed-fucking-minds!! (usually targeted towards Christians)
nice guys: hey I know when not to invade someone’s space and I totally respect boundaries
Nice Guys™: IVE BEEN YOUR FRIEND FOR A MONTH AND NOW YOURE TELLING ME YOU DONT WANT TO FUCK ME ???? WHAT IS THE POINT OF WOMEN IF YOURE NOT HAVING SEX WITH ME?
this post got all kinds of better since I last saw it
This post is perfection across the board.
feminist: I believe in equality for everything between the sexes
Feminist™: ALL MEN ARE ASSHOLES AND SHOULD DIE! WE DONT NEED ANY OF THEM ANYWAYS AND THEY NEVER DO ANYTHING GOOD FOR US!!
Christian: I believe in God and his son Jesus
Christian™: We must Obey Bible In Everything and Take It Literally and if you don’t do it you’re Going To Hell! I’m praying for you to find God and have your sins Forgiven! Other religions are from Satan and So Is Atheism!
Vegan: I don’t eat meat, eggs or dairy Vegan™: IF YOU EVER ATE MEAT MILK OR EGGS EVER IN YOUR LIFE YOU’RE WORSE THAN HITLER. I’M GONNA GIVE MY DOG A DIET IT CANNOT SURVIVE ON TO PROVE A POINT
We just bought a cute sofa from an antique shop, while being very obviously a couple and looking like a butch/femme salt and pepper shaker set, and the shop owner wanted to know how long we’d been, and I quote, “hanging out.”
I’ll still laughing at this the next morning.
*gets down on one knee in front of gal pal* *takes out ring* Will you hang out with me?
There was one time I was out shoe shopping with my partner and I was debating buying these cute pastel green shoes. The saleswoman was like “well why don’t we ask your friend here?” I said “oh actually this is my partner.” The woman stared at us blank faced for a few awkward seconds before forcibly smiling and saying, “partner in crime?”
JAW….DROP….
In a store once with a girl I used to date, browsing through all these different mattresses. One of the sales ladies came over and talked about all the beds with us for quite some time while we told her what we were looking for. It was painfully obvious we were a couple, like literally holding hands and calling each cute pet names out loud. Finally the sales lady laughs nervously and says “sooo.. wow, what kind of roommate setup is that that forces you two to have to share a bed!?” I just sort of stared at her for second at a complete loss and said “… the dating kind…”
Ancient Egyptians were using
20-sided die as early as 200 BCE. Source
i cant believe ancient egyptians were FUCKING NERDS
imagine ancient egyptian d&d tho
“You have crossed into the underworld and have encountered Anubis. You give him your heart to weigh.”
“I roll to Bluff.”
“You want to bluff Anubis? You can’t bluff Anubis, he’s a god, he has a godly Sense Motive check.”
“I want to bluff the scales.”
“…you want. To bluff. The scales.”
“Yup.”
“…you know what? I’ll allow it.”
“HA! Nat 20!”
“The scales, for some fucking reason, think your heart is lighter than the feather. Anubis is pretty sure you’re bullshitting him but you know what? Anubis has had a long day. Anubis is not gonna question the scales. You’re in.”
