About three things you must be sure before you read this story:
I am a grower, not a show-er. There is nothing terribly remarkable about my non-aroused junk.
I literally don’t care who sees me naked in the locker room. It took me a long time to be comfortable with my body, and I’m not in a locker room to flaunt it. I’m there to undress, shower, and dress.
My mood this morning is best summed up in these two gifs:
*** SO.
I’m in the locker room. I come out of the shower and go to my locker, and there are three guys at their lockers in the same area, all talking to each other. I pay them no mind because I don’t give a shit. I open my locker. I grab my underwear. I drop my towel.
One of the guys thought he was gonna try and be cocky and said, “You fuck chicks with that dick?”
…
My inner monologue at that exact second can best be summed up with this gif:
I turned around, completely naked, my apparently insufficient chick-fucking dick just hanging out for the world to see, looked the dude straight in the eye and said, “No, but I can take a dick like a champ. You tryna fuck?”
I have never seen a person so instantly regret a choice in my entire life. He started sputtering like a bottle of shampoo that was nearly empty and then just gave up and ran off while his friends just howled.
I calmly turned around and went about my life, minding my own goddamn business like a civilized adult.
it’s so hard to comprehend the scale of homestuck….. people literally celebrate the anniversary of the day it began like a holiday. it spanned obama’s entire u.s. presidency. it raised a couple million on kickstarter. it crashed several hosting sites. it might as well be it’s own medium. it amassed a major presence on the internet and at cons yet it was never on tv or advertised or anything- just a comic drawn by some dude spreading through word of mouth. people are still reading and talking about it a year after it ended. it’s getting it’s own fucking game. it’s got a soundtrack with hundreds of songs spanning anything from nicolas cage saying “boner” to a goddamn symphony. this was supposed to be short but so was homestuck
