DEAR 👏 PESKY 👏 PLUMBERS 👏
THE 👏 KOOPALINGS 👏 AND 👏 I 👏 HAVE 👏 TAKEN 👏 OVER 👏 THE 👏 MUSHROOM 👏 KINGDOM 👏
THE 👏 PRINCESS 👏 IS 👏 NOW 👏 A 👏 PERMANENT 👏 GUEST 👏 AT 👏 ONE 👏 OF 👏 OUR 👏 SEVEN 👏 KOOPA 👏 HOTELS 👏
I 👏 DARE 👏 YOU 👏 TO 👏 FIND 👏 HER 👏 IF 👏 YOU 👏 CAN 👏
I was making a website for a small
computer repair business. One day the client came in and asked me to start
designing several mock-ups for the business’ website. I explained that I don’t
do mock-ups; instead I do working prototypes which take longer to make, but
speed up the overall process because I have the basic code written can fine
tune the site until it’s ready for publishing without having to do too much
extra.
I also stressed a distinct lack of Photoshop
skills which would prevent me from quickly doing anything aside from quick
edits and touch-ups, which they didn’t hire me for.
Client: So,
when are you going to finish those mock-ups?
Me: I’ve got
two of the three prototypes…
Client: (Rather sternly) I said I wanted mock-ups.
Me: We discussed this
earlier – I do working prototypes to speed up the end process.
Client: (getting steamed) Look, I hired you to do what I said when I said
the way I said, if you can’t do that, then I’ll outsource your job to an Indian
company that I can pay $5 an hour.
Me: Obviously, that’s up to you, but there are
some pretty major downsides to that approach.
Client: That’s
it, you’re done. I won’t have you tell me what I can expect. I know what I’m
doing and obviously you don’t.
Several weeks later I see the business’
new website, which looked like it was a copy and paste design for a restaurant
and the site was incapable of handling several key features that I was asked to
code.
As I needed some parts for my PC I went
to their shop to find the boss on the phone with the sixteenth international
marketing company asking him to sign up for their SEO plans. During that visit
I learned from a new employee that the website had cost over ten times what I
was going to be paid, and that it crashes every second day.
I didn’t stay long enough to speak with
my former employer, but a week later I noticed a hastily built webpage loading
up for them “Website under construction, please direct any enquiries to (XX) XXXX-XXXX
during business hours.”
Couldn’t sleep last night! The best way to cope with this was clearly to draw shitty art for two of my shitty AUs, so have an octo!Chilled and a naga!Ze :D
