me: ok edgelord we get it what if i slit my wrists right now can we please just focus
Additionally; me: *waiting for the subway* intrusive thoughts: what if you jumped me: it would cause a four hour delay while they pick your body parts out of the rails you fucking prick, can we please for once get on public transit without going through this
Also; Me: *walking along a busy road* intrusive thoughts: What if you just fell over in front of this truck? Me: It would back up traffic all fucking night and probably hurt a lot of people you prick.
Gosh. I never have thoughts like this
didnt ask but that sounds nice
Me: *walking down the stairs* Intrusive Thought: I could throw myself down these flight of stairs and leave more time for everyone else! Me: Or you end up with a broken wrist and sprain ankle you dickhead keep walking
Me: *driving on a bridge* Intrusive thoughts: I could just drive straight into that lake and finish it right now. Me: You asshole, this is a new car. Just fucking keep going like everyone else you prick.
oh my god,^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
I needed this
Me: *standing at a lookout* It’s so beautiful here…
Intrusive thoughts: yeah, look at that view, you could just step out into it and you’d probably never feel the impact when you hit the ground 20m below…
Me: Bitch, don’t ruin the view for everyone else. Fucksake.
While putting your favorite condiment on a sandwich, you accidentally make a magical occult symbol and summon a demon.
You silently take two more slices of bread out of the package and make another sandwich. You put it on a plate with a handful of potato chips and hand it to the demon. He takes the sandwich, smiles and vanishes in a puff of demonic smoke. The next day you get that job promotion you were after. There was no contract. No words spoken. You owe nothing. But every now and then, another demon pops in for lunch. Demons don’t often get homemade sandwiches.
If you’re ever in an Irish speaking part of Ireland (Gaeltacht), and you see a mother with her child, tell her, “Ith an páiste.” It’s a beautiful way of saying, “Your motherhood glows with radiance and grace.” There is no English equivalent for this so give it a go!
last time i trusted an irish guy i walked home at 4am with my bra in my handbag so lets see
