The fun thing about Stephen King is that completely literal descriptions of Stephen King plot twists that actually make sense in context are 100% indistinguishable from shitposting about Stephen King.
Like, remember the time a kid killed a train by telling it a joke?
Or the time the Grim Reaper turned out to be three dwarves in a trenchcoat?
Or the time the protagonist escaped into the real world and kicked Stephen King’s ass?
They stopped a mind controlling alien from polluting the towns water supply with its parasites by having two guys who somehow always had mental powers shout bacon sandwiches into his mind.
There’s one where the villain turns out to be an evil dog who lives in a camera.
There’s a short story where a painting kidnaps a guy.
Ooh, or how about the one where they travel back in time and fight Pac-Man?
a man drinks beer until he’s slimy
A yardcare company’s secret to their quality is they hire satyrs.
A man fights a giant finger that lives in his bathroom sink.
A giant pair of chattery teeth save a guy from a carjacking.
Zombie rock stars live in a small town in the middle of Oregon and trap unsuspecting passersby.
Update: Legolas’ pupils are about 3.5 cm wide each. Now drawing kawaii Legolas on physics assignment.
And they told you science was no fun.
Science!
I’m going to do it. I’m going to hand it in.
Legolas’s pupil size isn’t the problem here, though. 5 leagues is 17.262 miles. The curvature of the Earth means that for a person of average height, the visual horizon is less than three miles away. Even if your vision is telescopic and the atmosphere is perfectly clear, you can’t see around the planet. If they were standing on a hill, it would have to be at LEAST 198 feet above sea level in order to see the horizon at 17.2 miles away, with nothing tall in between. Which, knowing Rohan, isn’t impossible.
But consider: Elven satellite eyeballs.
All this mathy bullshit to avoid admitting: CHECKMATE ROUND (middle) EARTHERS
