> 5:00 AM > alarm goes off > get out of my double-king sized bed > walk downstairs and microwave 5 “HUNGRY MAN” masculine testosterone burgers > blend up my favorite protein powder > turn on Fox and laugh at how liberal it is > 5:30 AM > Oh shit I’m gonna be late > Get in my lifted Trump style AMERICAN MADE truck that gets 0.5 mpg > TakeThatEcoFucks.jpg > Go to gas station and fill up with some Premium American Freedom Liquid > Only $5 a gallon thanks to President Trump’s incredible dealmaking > Decide to get back in the car and continue driving > Huge Truck Nuts swinging wildly in the breeze, have to remind myself how manly masculine I am > See some idiot racist BLM eco protestors blocking the highway > Deploy the TRUMP PORTABLE WALL and run them over > Feels good to exercise my 1st amendment right by silencing people I don’t like > MFW stupid liberal media will probably just report on how I killed people instead of all the good stuff I do for the world > Feeling low on protein > Pour some milk powder directly into my mouth > 6:01 > Finally arrive at work > Boss is livid at me for being one minute late > Had to give up unions years ago because they infringe on our freedom > Boss tells me I can keep my job, but my healthcare plan is terminated > It’s OK, I don’t want obummercare. Prostate cancer heals itself, right? > Start my shift and plunge into the coal mines God Trump has fought to protect > Elevator cable snaps midway and we plunge into a free fall > It’s okay, thank God we don’t have regulations hurting coal companies > happy to die for my company > plunge to my death > mfw
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Anonymous asked: "you should listen to the adventure zone it has amazing worldbuilding!" Oh yes I remember the town filled with only Tom Bodetts.
headcanon: there’s a daycare in at least one of the regions where instead of being used for breeding it’s Pokemon’s old friends senior dog sanctuary, where stray/lost elderly Pokemon can spend the rest of their lives at!
Definitely. <3
Old Friends Senior Pokemon Sanctuary is where I would want to work :D
[Picture of a sleepy battle-scarred gyrados sunbathing] Mr. Johannsen loves his sunshine!
[Adorable old lady comment] He’s a handsome soldier
I knew the basics before I got it, but I had no clue…
* The blood wouldn’t necessarily be red. When I first got my period, I spent a few min looking at my underwear wondering how I shit myself. I didn’t know the blood could look brown, or be thick.
* That tampons weren’t a good idea yet. I was 10 or 11 when I got my first period and physically smaller than an adult woman. My first attempt at inserting a tampon was very painful and unsuccessful. I wouldn’t use them until I was around 14 or so.
* That when you use pads the blood can get on your bottom and I’d have to occasionally clean off the toilet seat after using it.
* That getting your first period DOES NOT mean you’re fully developed and fully able to bear children. I could have technically gotten pregnant at that age, but I was still a child and pregnancy would have put my life in danger because I was still physically immature.
* That it wouldn’t be regular for another few years.
* That very painful cramping is NOT NORMAL once you reach your 20s and is cause for concern.
* That the blood and tissue you pass can look chunky or stringy and not like blood from a cut.
* That stress can halt your period for months BUT
* That doesn’t mean you can’t get pregnant
Feel free to add your own
*that your cycle isn’t necessarily a defined 28 days and that’s normal and fine
*weight changes and changes in exercise/regular movement (going from a job where you don’t walk as much to one where you do) can also make it off
* there is a chance that you’ll have a little pain when you ovulate (I can normally feel when I do) but if it’s bad FOR THE SAKE OF ALL THINGS HOLY GO GET IT CHECKED.
* That you can ovulate for weeks before your period actually comes.
* That birth control isn’t JUST for birth control and can often times help alleviate the pain in cramps as well as regulate your period.
* That bleeding for three months straight is REALLY not normal BUT
* That you can bleed for much longer than your cycle if you and another close female’s (usually parent, sibling, or friend) all syncs together.
* That your cycles synching REALLY isn’t a myth and is a lot of times can be more a more accurate assumption of when it’ll start than counting your days.
* That literally anything can throw your period off. Literally. Anything.
