me, in the year 2040, getting ready for a fancy dinner party, standing in front of my antique gold vanity mirror, wearing a saint laurent f/w 2039 evening gown and cartier diamond earrings, taking a sip of champagne:
what did you learn at school today, honey? :-)
my future child, laying on my king-sized bed with burgundy satin sheets:
not much, in history we talked about the 2016 election. do you remember any of that?
I always see comics about the opposite end of this situation and the anxiety that comes with it with “am i not good enough” or long periods of fading out of existence or something so I figured i’d make a comic from the perspective of the other person. …..I am always the other person. I have a terrible grasp of time. I am so sorry.
Say that at 18 I slap down enough money so I could have my whole body covered head-to-toe in tattoos, piercings all over myself, a mountain of cigarettes, plastic surgery, and plan to have like 20 babies… but if I try at all to safely make it impossible for me to breed for the sake of my health suddenly its like WOAH THERE SLOW DOWN MISSY YOU’RE NOT READY FOR THIS KIND OF COMMITMENT YET
I have stage III Endometriosis, which means I have to get my uterus removed because I literally have terrible cramps ALL THE TIME and not just when I’m on my period. Now, I’ve always said I don’t want any children for personal reasons and I don’t need my uterus, really. I am not worried about that surgery and I don’t feel any kind of nostalgia over an organ I won’t ever use.
The thing is, my doctor is a ‘man’. This ‘man’ told me I had to get pregnant right now before it’s too late. I told him I didn’t want to get pregnant and explained the multiple reasons but what, do you ask, did my doctor have to say about this? ‘Well, better have a kid now because just imagine how depressing it must be being a thirty-something woman without children and a husband?’
I was diagnosed a year ago. I should have gone through surgery six months ago and I still can’t find a doctor that will perform the surgery without trying to force me to have children first. Basically, if you’re a woman you don’t have a say in what can and cannot be done to your body without a shitload of people getting in the way AND I’M FUCKING SICK OF IT.
A dear friend of mine wanted to have her tubes tied. She was about to give birth to twins and the doctors wouldn’t consent because she wasn’t 21 yet. She had already had children and they still refused to let her have the procedure.
My friend got a vasectomy a week after asking his doctor for one, no problem. He was 25.
Me? I’ve asked 4 different doctors for some kind of permanent sterilisation—tubal ligation or Essure or whatever—and I get a pat on the head and a “You’d regret it if you did.”
Oh, DIDN’T REALIZE YOU HAD A DIRECT LINE TO MY BRAIN.
This is horrifying.
I’m 31, I HAD a husband and I thank God every day we didn’t have kids (granted, we both didn’t want them). I now never have to see him ever again and I never have to put my theoretical kids through that sort of psychological trauma or stress. 50% of marriages end in divorce, just saying. I have been considering getting my tubes tied and I shouldn’t have to put up with this bullshit.
This is all fucking bullshit. Holding a fetus in our womb for 9 months isn’t a fucking gift or miracle or dream. It is disgusting that some men see childbearing as our highest level of existence, as something every woman should desire and be damn grateful to do.
Fuck this fucking misogyny.
I went on a date recently. Nice guy, had his life together, but was dead set on having kids, and I made it very clear on my profile that I did not. He thought I was so awesome and he wanted to take a chance to, “change my mind.” I gave him valid reasons as to why bringing kids into this world is a bad idea and he’s like, “It’s biological, I have this need. Also, smart people need to reproduce and they don’t.”
Are you fucking kidding me? Needless to say, he can impose this need on someone else, but guess what? Lots of women are beginning to feel this way. I choose career over family. I’m not going to convince myself into believing I can do both. I’m not going to be a walking ball of stress like so many other working moms.
Another guy approached me on OKC. I checked his questions. Do you believe it’s ok to have an abortion in the event of rape. “No.” Would you divorce your spouse if she was sterile. “Yes.”
