THOUSAND OAKS, CA—Oblivious to the unforgiving judgments being passed on him every single day, sources said Friday that local 2-year-old Caleb Gibson is completely unaware that he is the sole basis for six couples’ decisions not to have kids. According to reports, the toddler has thus far failed to recognize that his temper tantrums and messy eating habits have motivated several of his mother’s friends, as well as a couple who were eating near Gibson’s family at a restaurant, to go their entire lives without ever raising children of their own. Gibson also reportedly remains wholly ignorant of the fact that his behavior this past Christmas, which included shrieking for 10 straight minutes after not getting a cookie, was directly responsible for his aunt and uncle’s choice to never procreate, or that stories about staying up all night to take care of him are why one of his father’s coworkers and her husband determined that they would be fine with just a dog. Sources also revealed that Gibson is unaware that he is the reason his own parents have decided not to have more children.
“Imagine if people had been going ‘don’t fight hate with hate’ back when Hitler was around.”
Fam…let me tell you bout Poland.
Let me tell you about how the entire rest of Europe sat ack and watched the invasion of Poland because they thought it would be “improper” to send military aid. How they were unwilling to enforce the treaties that Germany was breaking, because that would make them “just as bad.” They sat back and wrote strongly worded letters while fascists grew in power because they didn’t want to dirty their hands. They thought reasonable discussion and politics would be enough to stop a fascist dictator from rising to power.
