Kindness is often mistaken for softness and let me tell you, friends….that is a mistake you don’t want to make.
Kind people are not born that way, they do not stumble into it, kind people are forged in fire and darkness and imploding stars…they have steel cores. Throw a punch and you’re going to break your hand.
french recipes: if you’re not making this in paris then what’s the point. fuck you
italian recipes: use the left leg meat of a pig from one of three farms in this specific area of tuscany, or from this day my grandmother will begin manifesting physically in your house
american recipes: buy these three cans of stuff and put them in a pan congrats you cooked
chinese recipes, as handed down from mother to child: season it with a pinch of this and some of that. you want to know the exact amount? feel it in your heart. ask the stars. yell into the void.
English recipes: boil and salt it. Okay that’s it enjoy
Greek recipes: You followed all the right steps but this isn’t quite right. I don’t know what to tell you.
Australia recipes: chuck it on the barbie
Latinx recipes: you will never make it better than your abuela, face the facts
Spanish recipes: VENGA VA MUCHACHOS ARRIBA ESPAÑA ¿QUÉ? ¿COCINAR? AH VALE YA LO PILLO HERMANO, TU LE METES UN POCO DE SAL, ESPECIAS Y A LA SARTEN.
texas recipe: Yaint makin it right if it don’t have beans in it
