The whole nft thing is miles funnier than the broader cryptocurrency thing because nfts are about paying out of your asshole to buy a picrew illustrated by someone whose sole exposure to the art world at large was via viral animated cartoons uploaded onto ebaumsworld
Like don’t get me wrong, attempting to own a jpeg is hilarious enough, but I cannot stress enough how fucking ugly these things are. Imagine paying a mortgage for a bitmoji designed by someone whose sole job is like, drawing the cast of The Big Bang Theory in the Family Guy style
My favorite part is watching people instantly getting art-thief bots to steal these “$8k NFTs only mine do not steal!!!” and put them on cheap t-shirts
Imagine showing up to work one day and people are like “jesus fucking christ there’s a corpse in here”, herd you to the back room and everyone who sees you also agrees that there is now a dead body where you are sitting, with the appropriate amount of shock and disgust about it. You figure it’s some kind of a prank that they’re pulling, but also the people that you know aren’t into pranks, or aren’t very good actors, are treating you like a corpse. They go weirdly back and forth between talking about you as if you’re not there, and politely asking you to stay still while they figure out who you’re supposed to call in case of a dead body randomly appearing.
Paramedics show up, study you thoroughly and agree that while they can’t see any apparent sign of death, you are, indeed, dead, and ask you to climb aboard the ambulance. You’re taken to the temporary corpse storage that hospitals have.
On the way there you ask them whether this kind of shit happens often, and while they won’t look at you, the paramedics agree that they’ve never had a talking corpse before, though they won’t question the fact that you’re moving on your own.
You’re eventually led to a morgue, where you’re shown a slab to lay on, and at this point you don’t really even question it, you just climb onto the Corpse Shelf and lay down, maybe have a little nap, with no idea what’s going to happen next.
Then you wake up to someone walking into the morgue, who has the shit scared out of them when you move, and they’re like “dude what the fuck, you’re not supposed to be here, this place is for storing dead bodies” and when you’re like “aw man sorry I thought I was a dead body” they have no idea whether you’re joking and they don’t care, you’re just chased out of there.
And you just kinda go home and take a shower, show up to work normally the next day and nobody questions it.
And basically that’s probably how those ants feel when scientists spray them with the Pheromone That Dead Ants Smell Like, and just hang out at the dead-ant-pile until the smell wears off.
I was waiting to find out what social issue this was going to be a metaphor for, so that ending really punched me in the face.
Don’t….. fuckin power wash your roof. Don’t let anyone power wash your roof.
Friend, from the tone of your words, I feel like you’ve just learnt a hard lesson here…
Fortunately no, it was an easy lesson I learned when I was seven when my dad was power washing the driveway and I asked if he was going to power wash the roof next and he explained to me that it would damage the roof because it was meant to handle rain and snow, which is never going to be as hard as a power washer.
Lots of people are learning this the hard way this year though. It’s a new scam. Someone knocks on your door and offers to wash your roof for two hundred bucks. “Damn, that’s a pretty good price,” you think, knowing that roofs require a huge chunk of change. The guy power washes the roof and leaves. It was a cash transaction, and he didn’t leave contact information, so when your roof starts leaking during the first rain, you have no one to contact to sue for damages and you’re stuck on the hook for replacing the roof yourself, which you either do yourself (cost of materials and many hours of your time) or you hire someone to do for you (which runs into the tens of thousands of dollars, an amount people normally can’t just drop).
Lots of new homeowners don’t know this stuff, and it would definitely behoove them to research it, but until they have the time to do that, I’m here to say: Don’t power wash your roof.
A little comic I did back in May… Ruby is the daughter of chaos… And Urkil a poor dwarf cleric that doesn’t know how to deal with their tiefling daughter. This is based on one of my fave tiktoks
(psa: when I posted this on instagram I was told that is a pentacle, not a pentagram… so I’m aware. I just did what I saw on the video and didn’t do further research before drawing the comic.)