pearl was an aristocrat and/or got captured by the cgs and ended up being forced to join
garnet had two gems because she absorbed the souls of her dead parents(???) (we didnt know how gems were made and giant woman hadnt come out yet ok)
the entire gem species were warriors who went around defending planets and helping people (hell this wasnt even a theory we just assumed this to be true at one point)
and of course, that iconic classic, onion is yellow diamond / her son bc he doesnt have ears you see,
Fat woman: *exists*
Man #1: you are disgusting and unfuckable, therefore worthless
Man #2: not so fast. she is not totally worthless. I would fuck her #bodyposi #feminism
Fat woman: *wants to fuck neither of them* Man #2: what th e fucK I just said you weren’t completely worthless you should be fucking grateful I said I would fuck you bc I am extraordinary and a hero for saying it
So there was a single, solitary kiwi on our counter in the kitchen.
And I decided to make fun of my roommate for it, because who buys one, single, solitary kiwi? So I asked her that.
Roommate: I didn’t buy a kiwi.
Me: This isn’t your kiwi?
Roommate: No?
Me: But this isn’t my kiwi.
Roommate: That kiwi was there when I got home.
Me: I don’t even eat kiwi!
As you can see, it’s a real kiwi. Here it is, on my counter, giving away nothing.
But I was still confused as to where it came from. Did one of us accidentally buy a kiwi at the store?
So I looked up the Kiwiny company to figure out which stores it’s sold at, to see which one of us might have bought it, since we tend to use different grocery stores.
Kiwiny doesn’t have American retailers.
There is literally no reason for this kiwi to be in my kitchen.
It came all the way from Italy and this is how you welcome it
