I get pregnant, throw a “gender reveal” party, cut open the cake to reveal a landslide of green m&ms. “what does green mean??” my relatives ask, scandalized. in their confusion, they fail to notice that the doors have been barred. they are now my captive audience. “settle in, folks,” I say, “it’s time for gender theory 101. I have slides.”
the term “edgelord” implies the existence of an entire hierarchical structure of edgenobility. there ought to be like, edgedukes and edgeviscounts running around. edgesquires. edgecomtessas.
im a simple edgeserf toiling in my patch of black mud
You may now refer to me as the edgelady of the water. I shall give to only those who are worthy a blade of ultimate edge and mark them as the king of all edges.