I’m not saying send assassins. I’m just saying send assassins.
No, not at all.
Don’t send assassins. They’re expensive, they’re not 100% reliable–assassins aren’t perfect, they’re only human (or elf, or dwarf, or Qunari–you know what I mean), and if one’s caught, the game is up, we’ve tipped our hand.
But the rumor that we may or may not have sent assassins? Everyone goes berserk, the guards are tripled at further expense…but there’s nothing to see. Tension reigns and that can be exhausting. There won’t be any proof though, since, you know, we didn’t actually send any.
And say we get lucky and someone dies, of something completely unrelated. (No, really, unrelated.) Accident, some other enemy, suicide. Who’ll believe that was what really happened?
Rumor: most of the effectiveness of assassins at a fraction the cost and zero risk.
Goddamned Mezolithic Megafauna’s what that is. Goddamned warranty expired on those things centuries ago, but do they care? Do they go decently extinct, like the ground sloth, gigantopethicus, or wooly rhino? Fuck that, they’re doing downhill runs on your favorite skiing course is what. Because Fuck it, is why.
Now I understand why moose are built the way they are.
It’s so they can gallop untrammelled through six-odd feet of snow.
Jesus Christ I read those mother fuckers could run 55km an hour but seeing it is another thing especially plowing through the snow
DASHING THROUGH THE SNOW GET THE FUCK OUT OF THE WAY
There is a reason when you crash your car into a moose, the moose is only left with a bruise, maybe some fractured bones, and your car gets totaled.
The fuckers are scary and you don’t fuck with them, and hope if they fuck you, they get it over quick.
Us Nords have a great amount of respect for Canada. If Sweden, Norway and Finnland are Skyrim on Expert Mode, then Canada is Legendary Mode. Only place with harder Winters AND bigger Moose. Difference is not TOO great, but it is clearly there upon inspection, and we know it. “In frozen Norths… deer eat YOU.”
Given the fact deer that shed their antlers need to eat meat and bones to not die as easily, this is true. Deer are scary and dangerious animals, they have more kicking power than a horse, but a horse has more mass. Deer have pointy lil hooves too, which can pierce flesh easily.
Moose are like horse-deer, all the mass of the draft horse, and the demeanor of deer, look so adorable and placid from a distance, but unlike horses who have been bred and trained to not see humans as predators, they are like “SHIT! A POTENTIAL THREAT!” and then kick your ass to protect itself.
Keep in mind a small 40 pound mammal native to Canada can bring down a full grown full health moose…And that’s probably -why- this moose is running.
autism is widely underdiagnosed in girls because autistic women tend to present as quiet and reserved, which is just how women are supposed to be.
personality disorders are underdiagnosed in men because they tend to present more explosively and involve more narcissistic behaviours, which is just how men are supposed to be.
sexism isn’t good for anyone. don’t be fooled.
when ppl ask why gender roles are dangerous!!!!! peep this!!!!!!
Just remember. There is no such thing as a fake geek girl. There are only fake geek boys. Science fiction was invented by a woman.
Specifically a teenage girl. You know, someone who would be a part of the demographic that some of these boys are violently rejecting.
Isaac Asimov.
yo mary shelley wrote frankenstein in 1818 and isaac asimov was born in 1920 so you kinda get my point
If you want to push it back even further Margaret Cavendish, the duchess of Newcastle (1623-1673) wrote The Blazing World in 1666, about a young woman who discovers a Utopian world that can only be accessed via the North Pole - oft credited as one of the first scifi novels
Women have always been at the forefront of literature, the first novel (what we would consider a novel in modern terms)was written by a woman (Lady Muraskai’s the Tale of Genji in the early 1000s) take your snide “Isaac Asimov” reblogs and stick it
even in terms of male scifi authors, asimov was predated by Jules Verne, HG Wells, George Orwell, you could have even cited Poe or Jonathan Swift has a case but Asimov?
PbbBFFTTBBBTBTTBBTBTTT so desperate to discredit the idea of Mary Shelly as the mother of modern science fiction you didn’t even do a frickin google search For Shame
And if you want to go back even further, the first named, identified author in history was Enheduanna of Akkad, a Sumerian high priestess.
Kinda funny, considering this Isaac Asimov quote on the subject:
Mary Shelley was the first to make use of a new finding of science which she advanced further to a logical extreme, and it is that which makes Frankenstein the first true science fiction story.
Even Isaac Asimov ain’t having none of your shit, not even posthumously.
You know what else was invented by women? Masked vigilantes, the precursor to the modern superhero. Baroness Emma Orczy wrote The Scarlet Pimpernel in 1905.
The character would later inspire better known masked vigilantes such as Zorro and Batman.
Stick that in your international pipe and smoke it
I have literally been telling people this for over a year.
the first extended prose piece - ie a novel, was not, as many male scholars will shout, Don Quixote (1605) but The Tale of Genji (1008) written by a woman
The first autobiography ever written in English is also attributed to a woman, The Book of Margery Kempe (1430s).
The day may come when I find this post and do not reblog it, but it is not this day.
