shockingjokes-artbook asked: A baby deer, a comfy blanet, a phone, cookies, a snoffed animal, movies, sins
das 7 things, not 5
(Source: guiidette, via sigmatique-deactivated20170313)
(Source: guiidette, via irailleth-archive)
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I like how she didn’t even directly mention men and he still said that
IM HOLLERING RIGHT NOW
(Source: lake-erie, via thetimeisneveright)
bruce wayne maintains a presence on all conspiracy theory boards with the screen name BruceWayneIsTheBatman and all his posts have titles like “BRUCE WAINE IS BAT-MAN INDISPUTABLE PROOF” and it’s just a picture of Bruce Wayne from the back next to a picture of Batman from behind and they both have the contours of their butt drawn on in a shitty MSPaint red line (note: Bruce is in a suit and Batman has a cape, neither of their butts are clearly discernible) and the quote “THE BUTTS MATCH!!! THE FACTS DON’T LIE!!!!!” and he makes at least three of these posts a day, and “Bruce Wayne is the Batman” becomes a meme a la “Ted Cruz is the Zodiac Killer” and he gets asked about it on a talk show and he laughs uproariously at the idea and Stephen Colbert just HAPPENS to have a batman mask under the desk and they do a bit together where Bruce Wayne puts on the mask and walks around saying things like “excuse me, bank robbers, can I perhaps offer you some money to stop you robbing this bank?” and “I say, cease and desist your criminal behavior or I’ll have my butler ask you to leave” and the audience is LOSING THEIR MINDS laughing at the idea of this pampered rich guy taking on the Joker on a bi-weekly basis and then anyone who suggests “Bruce Wayne is Batman” in earnest gets met with mocking “oh man do the butts match” comments
and eventually alfred takes over the blog and starts posting and draws shitty ms paint batcaves claiming they’re under wayne manor and just uses clipart of penny and t-rex for the giant penny and t-rex.
(via robustquestioner)
imatimelorddetectivedemonhunter:
I can’t wait until I get that job at Starbucks because I’m going to spell everyone’s name wrong so they can’t instagram their cups
are you satan
are you god
are we humans
Or are we dancer
Is this the real life
Or is this just a fantasy
no this is patrick
maybe it’s maybelline
no it’s becky
And I’m Javert
AND STEVEN!
(via robustquestioner)
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