Silver Tongue

Dec 03

solarassassin:

playing Uno with my family and 6-year-old cousin when suddenly….

Him: Are you a boy or a girl? You look like a girl, but you dress like a boy… And you have hairy armpits!

*everyone at the table freezes; wide eyes fixed on me…*

Me: Well, I didn’t want to say anything but….Neither. I’m a mermaid. I wear these clothes so I can easily run from the Dolphin Police because truthfully, I’m not supposed to be here on dry land. Oh, and that’s not hair, it’s seaweed.

Him:So, that’s why your hair is red!!!!!

Later that night, we are drawing & my hair is up in a ponytail…

Him: What’s that thing on your ear? *points to my hearing aid*

Me: Ah, this. It’s a device that lets me hear what the Dolphins are up to at all times. Every mermaid has one.

Him: Are you lying?

Me: Here, I’ll prove it to you. *takes out hearing aid, feedback screeches* See? They’re angry. I’ve told you too much…

Him: *whispers* Oh my god….

A year later, his mom texts me and says he STILL thinks I’m a mermaid outlaw, and that he swears he saw me swimming in a river they drove by one day. yeah it’s a big fat lie but I’m a real-life fucking mermaid in this kids mind…who else can say that?!?

(via guardingafterdawn-deactivated20)

froge:

lovetten:

froge:

the 8th deadly sin, gaming

gaming is a combination of greed (gamer money), gluttony (potion and munch), envy (friend gets epic loot and you don’t), wrath (nerd rage), sloth (all day gaming), lust (titty game), and pride (epic accomplishment)

gaming is not the 8th sin, it’s all of them

holy shit… signal boost

(via deep-sea-prince)

tallmaster:
“
”

tallmaster:

image

image

(via the-nerdy-reindeer)

askeverfreerat:
“fatcakes:
“ askeverfreerat commission
”
This was so adorable. Not her usual state, mossy, but she can be adorable! Thanks a bunch cakes!
”

askeverfreerat:

fatcakes:

askeverfreerat commission

This was so adorable. Not her usual state, mossy, but she can be adorable! Thanks a bunch cakes!

(via askeverfreerat)

Things I’m good at:

loverbolin:

1. Trying to open the car door right as someone unlocks it causing them to have to lock it then unlock it again

2. Doing it a second time

(via robustquestioner-deactivated202)

doctorstarky:

We should have another scandal at the Watergate Hotel so the media can call it “Watergategate”

(via )

itsagifnotagif:
“I am done
”

itsagifnotagif:

I am done

(via thatsthat24)

onecrazycarny:
“ bonkai-diaries:
“ reverseracism:
“ pussypoppinlikepopcorn:
“ binches:
“”
A classic case of “I don’t care about your rights but once they wronged me, it’s over” ”
Was I supposed to feel sorry for her?
”
I just saw her tonight being...

onecrazycarny:

bonkai-diaries:

reverseracism:

pussypoppinlikepopcorn:

binches:

image

Originally posted by lindsavlohan

A classic case of “I don’t care about your rights but once they wronged me, it’s over”

Was I supposed to feel sorry for her?

I just saw her tonight being interviewed on tv saying her and many other people she knows have buyers remorse and were infuriated when Trump nominated Mnuchin. She added “instead of draining the swamp, he’s filled it with alligators” and I’m just like 

image

I think this tweet pretty much sums it up

image

The full article: http://abcnews.go.com/Politics/wireStory/trump-voter-lost-home-treasury-secretary-43923824

More Trump supporters regretting their life decisions: https://trumpgrets.tumblr.com/

(via deep-sea-prince)

nuclearsweetheart:
“ ayeitsursie:
“ please read this oh my god
”
These are better than the originals tbh
”

nuclearsweetheart:

ayeitsursie:

please read this oh my god

These are better than the originals tbh

(via )

santarex:
“NEBBY, STAY IN THE GODDAMN BAG. Been wanting to draw something like this since I saw Lillie shouting at Nebby to get back in the bag.
”

santarex:

NEBBY, STAY IN THE GODDAMN BAG. Been wanting to draw something like  this since I saw Lillie shouting at Nebby to get back in the bag.

(via pembrokewkorgi)