Silver Tongue

Apr 20

clientsfromhell:

I do graphic work. One client often asks me to help create presentations.

Client: I need you to pretty this up for me. I’m not sold on the layout, so if you want to tweak it, that’s fine.

He sends me a practically incomprehensible diagram. I came up with a new design that makes more sense, and I send a couple sketches of it back to him for approval.

Client: I like it, but it needs some tweaks. Can you finish both the one I sent you and this, but make yours look more like this? I need these ASAP.

He sends me my second sketch, recreated in PowerPoint smart art.

Me: Yes, but I have other urgent priorities too, and if I do both of these right now, it’s going to eat up my entire day. Which one would you like to see first?

Client: I don’t understand, why will it take you a couple of hours each? It only took me 20 minutes to make this in PowerPoint.

Me: Because PowerPoint is not graphics software, and I take some amount of pride in my work?

isabellelytewood:

anyone ever: do it

me: [palpatine voice] DEW IT

(Source: evnbuckley, via mx-bones-deactivated20160831)

emmersdrawberry:
“ kai-ni:
“ auroura101:
“ Dramatic fish turn
”
heaRD YOU WERE TALKING SHIT
”
So this rly scared me bc for some reason it didn’t register that the whole tank was filled with water not just the little jar….
”
@rosexknight you should do...

emmersdrawberry:

kai-ni:

auroura101:

Dramatic fish turn

heaRD YOU WERE TALKING SHIT

So this rly scared me bc for some reason it didn’t register that the whole tank was filled with water not just the little jar….

@rosexknight you should do this with your tank

(via thatsthat24)

memeufacturing:

beckyhop:

goingtobuffalo:

goingtobuffalo:

Tonight in Buffalo, as concrete proof that we are living inside of an SNL skit, Donald Trump applauded the policemen and firefighters who risked their lives in 7-11.
Yes.
7-11

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unfortunately yes

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video on CNN here

JET FUEL CAN’T MELT SLURPEES

7/11 was a part-time job

(via )

[video]

[video]

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the-prolefeed:

atheistjapanesesocialist:

alpha-garden:

ayellowbirds:

zandergb:

bugeyedfreaks:

newest episode of the ppg reboot

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mojo’s talking smack to the girls, but suddenly

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his stupid dog’s leash disappears for three seconds

this is not a one frame mistake

the leash actually disappears for three entire seconds

like this is an INCREDIBLY noticeable error just

how

how do you miss this

how

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they didn’t even manage to align the sparkle with his teeth i can’t do this anymore this animation just

I looked this up and it’s not even an error between shots. (Here’s the episode if tumblr fucks up my shitty gif. Around the 6:45 mark.)

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What is an error between shots is that the dog switches sides, the leash disappears (again) and the stuff the dog keeps barfing up disappears with it.

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What the hell is going on, this show is crap in so many ways D:

Okay they didn’t mention it, but when the dog switch sides, so does which ear is black, BUT NOT WHICH EYE WHAT THE FUCKING SHIT GODDAMN ARRRRG

@unadulteratedpiratepizza

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(via dan-mcneely)

[video]

pettyrevenge:

My stepdad was a massive control freak with a ridiculous temper.

He controlled every aspect of our lives, but he was especially bad about the TV. He always had to have his chair and always had the remote, no matter what. Not even my mom was allowed to use the chair or the remote when he wanted them. The whole rest of the family could have been 10 minutes from the end of a movie and he’d still change the channel on us. Everyone also had to be completely silent when he was watching something (especially Judge Judy or COPS). If he could hear us make any noise at all, he would go ballistic.

When I was about 12, I got Mission: Impossible for the Gameboy Color. It was a terrible game, but had one really neat feature: you could point any remote at the Gameboy’s infrared port and it would record the signals generated by the remote and then map them to the Gameboy’s buttons. This effectively made the Gameboy a universal remote.

I was never without my Gameboy in those days, and I would often lie on the living room floor and play it on silent while my family watched TV. Once a month or so, I put in Mission: Impossible and just went nuts. Watching him go berserk with no one to aim it at was one of the most satisfying experiences of my childhood. I was never caught.

(Source: redd.it, via deep-sea-prince)