My roommate threw a huge party in our room while I was out with friends and, when she was super drunk, spilled sh*tty beer all over my childhood teddy bear and threw him out. Every morning since I’ve been turning her alarm off, right after she sets it, while she’s brushing her teeth before going to bed. She’s missed her last four 9 AM classes (officially lowering her grade to a C), thinks her phone is broken, and is about to spend a sh*t ton of money she doesn’t have on a new one.
That’s what you get for messing with Larry Beary, f*cker.
Villain Lady:
wouldn't it be totally romantic and cool if someone blasted a giant heart into the moon for someone they loved
Heroine:
that would be horrible, it could affect the tides and send debris raining down on the Earth, damaging the ecosystem and threatening lives.
Heroine:
Anyways what did you want to do for our anniver- where are you going?
Villain Lady running out the door:
BRB JUST HAVE TO STOP SEVERAL HUNDRED MISSILES HEADING FOR THE MOON THAT ARE COMPLETELY UNRELATED TO THIS CONVERSATION