funny how hot dogs come in packs of six but hot dog buns come in packs of twelve and also the united states has more blood on its hands than any other country in the world just by refusing asylum to refugees
ever notice how you park in a driveway but drive on a parkway and also the british nation remains proud of its legacy as the world’s most murderous empire in all of recorded history and refuses to acknowledge its massacres
isn’t it pretty interesting how a ship carries cargo but a car carries shipments! it’s also funny how the western nations will teach in history class all about how the west brutally exploited Africa and the Middle East but continue to invade those same regions in the modern age “for their own good”, which is the same thing they said during the colonial era
I’ve been up for too long I didn’t realize what was wrong with this.
AU where Romeo and Juliet are a bickering writing duo and William Shakespeare is their debut play they’re trying to put on after college. Forsooth, hijinks ensue.
Hamlet is their emo friend who keeps complaining about his stepdad. Othello is their friend who got married too young and had their friend group’s first ugly divorce over supposed infidelity. Macbeth is their politician friend whose ambitious girlfriend pushed him to cheat at a student union election, despite the fact that nobody actually noticed or cared. William Shakespeare is a parody of writers who use their friends as material for amped-up melodramas, and they colloquially refer to their play as Mmm Whatcha Say because their protagonist is obsessed with killing off all his characters.
Years ago, you promised your firstborn to a witch. Since then, despite your best efforts, you can’t seem to get laid. The witch is starting to get pretty pissed.
Y’all get together to discuss your options and she starts coaching you on how to get men because she doesn’t want to waste more magic on you without promise of payment. The more time you guys spend together the more you realize you have a bit of a crush on her. Soon you’re sabotaging your dates on purpose to see her again.
Long story short you fall in love and get married and do the sperm donor thing AND YOUR FIRSTBORN IS HERS BY DEFAULT and you live happily ever after. The end.
