Customer: “Is yall’s chip reader working?” *inserts chip before getting an answer*
Me: “Are you doing debit or credit?” *knows the answer*
Customer: “it’s gonna be debit.”
Me: “Go ahead and swipe your card.”
Customer: “But it’s got the chip on it.”
Me: *stares at label on card reader* “go ahead and swipe your card.”
Customer: *ignores me and leaves card inserted; selects debit; ignores prompt to remove and swipe card; card reader begins beeping; customer removes card and puts it back in wallet* “Did it go through?”
Me: *sighs internally while staring at the label* “No, you gotta swipe your card.”
Customer: “These things don’t know what they want, do they?”
Me: *cries in Spanish*
(via scraps-is-busy)
HAS THIS BEEN DONE YET
(via deep-sea-prince)
not v threatening halloween jade rarrr
(via bloodsbane)
some Toriel expressions from the other day
(via ryukodragon)
[video]
I hope the “live action remake of an animated classic” trend dies forever soon, especially since “animated remake of a live action classic” would be a billion times better
Like, let me have Studio Ghibli’s Die Hard or Dreamworks Animation’s Pulp Fiction before I have to watch Emma Stone’s Ariel sing to a hyper-realistic CGI Sebastian or whatever
(via bloodsbane)
[video]
knockknockitsnickels asked: Lapis 2,5,15 and 17?
2. Best friend: her only friends is cheshitre
5. Relationship status: singleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
15. Best kept secrets: she plans to babkerupit her parents (shhhhhhhhhhhh its a stecret)
17. Worst romantic experience: probabbly some non poaint non pesgagausus trying to cout her
[video]
libby-doe-mods-denofiniquity-de asked: How can I turn fickle into a draconi?
There are MANY ways to do this.
1) Eat a golden apple. 99.99999999% Fatality rate.
2) Get another draconequus to turn you into one. 99% chance they’ll just turn you into a fish. 1% chance they turn you into something else. 100% chance you do not become a draconequus.
3) Romance a draconequus. 100% chance you will go insane long before they even realize they’ve been dating for a decade.I being bitten by one account?
Chaos magic does not transfer by biting, no matter how KINKY that may be.
WAHT ABOUT BRITTING ONELIKE A RTEVEERSE WEREWOLODF