me: *wailing dramatically while wandering the halls of my dark mansion in a long black chiffon dressing gown with a black feather trim that trails behind me about a foot over a simple and elegant black silk slip dress, holding a fully lit candelabra and leaving a trail of wax drippings on my hardwood floors*
my spouse: *turns on the hall light* we fucking talked about this
college is just as ridiculous as everyone thinks it is
last term i was 35 minutes into the first day of a roman society class and there was this dude eating burritos in the third row, and the prof asked him a question and the dude just went “i would love to answer, but it just occured to me this is NOT honours environmental economics” and stood up and left
people who can graciously hide that they don’t like people are so terrifying. last year while working on tech for a play i asked my friend how he became friends with another guy on the crew and he got quiet, looked straight into my soul and said “he’s not my friend. i fucking hate him.” i lost 5 years of my life
