Silver Tongue

Jan 04

(Source: the-jessi-k-blog, via robustquestioner)

glassraptor:

vampires always like “i could kill you if I wanted” like? yeah? so could another human being. so could a dog. so could a dedicated duck. you arent special

(Source: ratcoded, via bloodsbane)

On the Millennium Falcon, and the issue of Parsecs…

scraps-is-busy:

kyraneko:

thegladelf:

machinegodonvacation:

mechanicusdeus:

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I’ve heard the discussion about Han Solo’s famous “Kessel Run” time and time again - both inside the Star Wars community and outside it. Common consensus seems to be that Han Solo’s boast that the Falcon could do the run in 12 parsecs indicates that Solo has no idea what a parsec is, or else relies on the fact that his audience doesn’t know.

This discussion relies on two main facts:

  1. A parsec is a unit of measurement equivalent to roughly 3.26 light-years. This means that a parsec is a unit of distance, not a unit of time.
  2. The Kessel Run is a smuggling route in the Star Wars universe, running illicit spice from the spice mines of Kessel to its destination worlds. It is not a commonly-used trade route, partially because the route is fraught with danger - especially “The Maw” cluster of black holes.

The main mistake people seem to make when discussing this issue is believing that Han is boasting about the Falcon’s speed. This is understandable, because Han often boasts about the Falcon’s speed in other situations, and it is natural to assume that a vehicle owner boasts about the speed of their vehicle because that is what we Earthlings are used to when discussing cars and other machines.
As such, they think that Han is purporting that “12 Parsecs” is a quantification of the Falcon’s immense velocity.

This is an incorrect assumption, however. What Han is actually boasting about is the Falcon’s ability to safely navigate the dangerous Kessel Run by the shortest possible route.
Travelling at hyperspace is not a simple matter of moving the ship directly from A to B, since there are doubtless hundreds or thousands of intervening planets, stars, asteroids, and other dangers. A ship’s computer must be programmed with a route which avoids such obstacles - usually giving them a wide berth, just to be on the safe side. The computer can also adjust itself en route if an unforeseen hazard presents itself.

Han Solo programs the Falcon’s computer system to fly as close to these hazards - especially the forbidding Maw Cluster - as is possible without being destroyed. Most other pilots would see this behaviour as foolhardy, but Han apparently doesn’t care. Because the Falcon is programmed to fly closer to these obstacles than most other pilots would dare consider, it needs to “steer” far less, and so can traverse the route in a straighter line than any other starship. This means that the Falcon completes the Kessel Run in a shorter distance than other ships - a mere 12 parsecs.

This is backed up in The Force Awakens when Rey, impressed that the ‘hunk of junk’ she’s aboard is the Millennium Falcon, marvels that “This is the ship which ran the Kessel Run in 14 parsecs”. Han corrects her by saying “12″. This therefore implies that 12 parsecs is more impressive than 14 - something which is totally in keeping with the above.

Han isn’t talking out of his arse when he boasts about the Falcon’s record, nor is he demonstrating his lack of understanding of interstellar measurements. He’s just not talking about what many people think he’s talking about, which is their own lack of understanding, not Han’s.

To boldly cut corners no man has cut before.

^That’s it. That’s literally Han Solo.

THANK YOU! THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!

I’ve known this for YEARS but never quite been able to put it into the right words. So glad to see it here.

The secret to this is actually on the wookiepedia page. 

“The most famous attribute of Millennium Falcon was her hyperdrive. The hyperdrive system onboard the Falcon was fully twice the size of the hyperdrive in a standard YT-1300 freighter. This system gave her a hyperdrive class of 0.5, which was twice as fast as most Imperial warships. The secret to her speed was master starship tech “Doc” Vandangante’s modifications that “streamlined” the ship in hyperspace by controlling the warp of the space-time continuum around her. Several other ships have tried to match the Falcon’s speed without these “streamlining” modifications and have blown themselves into space dust.

“Another key element to the Millennium Falcon’s speed was its navicomputer, which could locate the quickest route from Point A to Point B while still avoiding obstacles such as star systems and asteroid fields.”

Basically, it’s both stupid fast, and the nav-computer does what OP stated above. It cuts corners, using it’s speed to overcome some of the obstacles that would cross it’s path. 

Though that bit is from the now unofficial canon from the expanded universe. 

(via scraps-is-busy)

[video]

just-shower-thoughts:

The worst possible board game combination would definitely be “Jumanji: Cards Against Humanity Edition”

I think you mean “best”

(via thatsthat24)

jestre:
“ nightguardmod:
“ sjwbullshit:
“ thecrystalfems:
“ zepharsnow:
“ badsjw:
“ Let’s hope 2016′s a little better.
”
Oh yeah, like not telling stupid offensive fucking jokes is SUCH a difficult task. Lmao like if you really can’t make a joke...

jestre:

nightguardmod:

sjwbullshit:

thecrystalfems:

zepharsnow:

badsjw:

Let’s hope 2016′s a little better.

Oh yeah, like not telling stupid offensive fucking jokes is SUCH a difficult task. Lmao like if you really can’t make a joke without it being at a minority group’s expense…. Are you really that funny? No. You’re just a piece of shit

Lmao nobody said anything about making fun of minorities but hey point proven

Tumblr getting offended over something completely unoffensive.

So much for 2016.

Remember, this is tumblr, the home of people looking for reasons to get offended.

You could post a blank image and someone would call it whitewashing.

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(via jestre)

Lel, I made the same joke

Lel, I made the same joke

(Source: ridiculouscake)

[video]

imitationgirl:

“the terrifying renegade Pearl”

ah yes

the terrifying

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renegade

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PEARL

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We need to free Blue Diamond’s Pearl

LET BLUE DIAMONDS PEARL SAY FUCK

(Source: seavonnie)