Glad to see my lifelong disinterest in golf is paying off
let me tell you about golf
i grew up in a little desert valley called Tucson, Arizona, where it only rains 2 inches a year on average. the majority of the city’s water is pumped from an underground aquifer, which took millions of years to fill. one of the biggest conservation efforts in our city was for water, naturally, and i spent a lot of time learning about low flow toilets and 5 minute showers. i learned that filling your sink basin and washing your dishes in that water is less costly than running the tap. i learned that it only takes 2 days without water on the desert for someone to die
the city was sinking as the aquifer drained. neighborhoods fell into flood zones that didnt exist 10 years ago
there’s a road called Golf Links in the city and it is lined with golf courses. miles of green grass where grass doesn’t grow, in a valley where it doesn’t rain. why? because the rich white retirees who moved there to stop the aching in their joints decided they should also get to play golf. meanwhile our public schools taught small children like me that taking long showers would kill the world
SKELETONS, am I right guys? Haha, can’t live with ‘em, can’t live without ‘em! Take my skeleton, for instance - no, seriously, take it! - you can tell who has a skeleton in the audience because they’re afraid to laugh in front of it but I know you guys are laughing on the inside while the oooool’ ball n’ chain sits there like “that’s not funny!”
You know, it’s always been assumed that in ancient Britain people avoided the fair folk at all cost and were super careful to not be trapped if taken, but with the amount of people agreeing that they want aliens to abduct them today, I can’t help but wonder if during tough periods of Irish history there were people who genuinely wanted the fair folk to get them.
“As you can tell, we have to be very careful around these parts lest the fair folk steal you to the Otherworld.”
“FUCKING STEAL MY SOUL ALREADY YOU ETHEREAL ASSHOLES!”
You know, I never thought of it like that, but I can absolutely believe it.
they’re essentially interchangeable, so yeah, pretty much
