Silver Tongue

Nov 25

ginnymcqueen:
stylinsonxhealy:
satanstrousers:
One of my friends asked me the other day if I would suck one thousand dicks for a billion dollars, and I love questions like that because not only are they so demonstrative of the no-homo society we live in, but they also show a fundamental lack of understanding that some people have for the value of money. Like, do you realize just how much money one billion dollars is? Do you realize I could live my life in the lap of luxury buying literally everything I could ever want and still have a fortune to leave to my children?? For sucking some dicks?? We are talking 1 million dollars per dick sucked!! That’s just economical like come on man.
1 billion dollars and all you’d have to do is suck a dick every day for the next 2.7 years. That’s it. Plenty of people already do that. You could quit your job and literally suck dick for a living. You could suck two dicks a day and only have to suck dick for 1.4 years. You could suck 5 dicks a day for about 6 months. 5 DICKS A DAY FOR 6 MONTHS FOR A BILLION DOLLARS, OF COURSE I’LL FUCKIN DO THAT. THAT’S THE DREAM, THAT’S FUCKIN HEAVEN.
And I’m over here doin’ it for free like a fucking asshole.
fuck i have been underselling my services by about one million dollars per blowjob.

Does it have to be the same dick or could it be different people? If a man was flexible enough, could he suck his own dick? Do they have to do it until ejaculation? Does it have to be human because a horse cums in about 15 seconds and that would make it easier.

(via thatsthat24)

embelish:

nokiabae:
it’s been 4 months and I can’t stop thinking about this tweet

How did they get a yellow vest to float like that?

(via thatsthat24)

[video]

oakydeer:

I felt this meme was accurate

(via saccharinecyanide)

Big News Guys

wuffleton:

moonkip:
tehluckyfox:
@moonkip is banging a Pineapple
pass it on
Truuuuuuuuuuuuee
Don’t forget that you’ve gotta shove a pineapple up Hitler’s ass at 4PM though.

Just make sure you don’t end up like the pineapple incident of Cyrodiil.

(via wuffleton)

[video]

epiccabinet:

yungterra:
i have this fucking thing i do where i just imagine a hypothetical tumblr post and i get angry about it ? ? what the fuck
like earlier i imagined someone posting a picture of a bird in a suit with a lil american flag pin with the caption “vote for BIRBie sanders xD” and i was pissed about it in a matter of nanoseconds
Im pissed that you made up a hypothetical post that bad and i had to read it

(Source: yungterra-blog, via bloodsbane)

birbamena:

lmao what font would i be

(via birbamena-deactivated20200116)

adurot:

fieldbears:
ursulavernon:
adamusprime:
if you didn’t know stuff about humans you would think they get mad at the weirdest stuff
like one human raises their thumb to another human
that’s good, humans like that
one human raises their middle finger to another human
humans do NOT LIKE THAT
humans think that is a BAD FINGER
don’t you DARE raise that specific finger at me
any other finger is ok just not that one
Anthropology will be the hard elective in alien school.
“Is the middle finger weaponized? Does it spray a venom perhaps”
“No, student Xeepzorp, it is frail and harmless like the others”
“Fascinating”
Then there’s that other part of the world where raising a thumb is bad.
Raising two fingers one place means peace, and in another, fuck you.

(via adurot)