Thanks for playing
(via bloodsbane)
But what about vampire history teachers. Vampires who read something from a text book then proceed to light the book on fire and throw it out the window because “No. that’s not even close to what really happened. Listen up nerds I’m about to teach you what really happened in France during the revolution”
I need this as a series
Vampires sharing the recipe for Greek fire.
Vampires speaking in dead languages.
Vampires being able to translate untranslatable scripts.
Vampires who react to straightwashing historical figures like “Are you kidding me everyone knew that man was queer!”
Vampires from cultures who were once antagonistic towards each other stubbornly maintaining a friendship that’s lasted longer than their civilizations.
Vampires who honour forgotten deities you won’t find in mythology books.
Also, vampires who secretly saved stuff from the Library of Alexandra.
A vampire show that does not revolve all around sex and eternal cursed love.
nerd vampire whose knowledge of current events is terrible but they can always remember everything that’s considered “history” so they have a super-detailed knowledge of everything up to about thirty years ago and then ?????
vampire who couldn’t tell you what caravaggio was known for but duelled with him at least three times and slept with him at least ten. “cara-who OH YOU MEAN MICHAEL yeah he was cool”
vampire who spent 100 years in a convent and is still so bitter that in all that time they never made her mother superior “GODDAMMIT I HAD SENIORITY! I HAD SENIORITY!” “okay so first off janet, that was six hundred years ago, but more importantly, maybe if you didn’t always start those complaints off with blasphemy…”
vampire professor who just sort of showed up at oxford when it was founded and is still there (and nobody’s noticed because he still never actually shows up to his lectures)
vampire politician who lifts all their campaign speeches wholesale from speeches given 200 years ago and just waits for someone to catch them out (nobody ever does they’re prime minister and their approval ratings are through the roof)
WAIT I HAVE MORE
queer vampire who constantly talks about the fashion for straightness and you need to be really careful because if you tell them straight is default they WILL scream at you for five days straight about what a modern concept heterosexuality is
vampire hoarder who has an entire town where they just kept having to buy new houses to keep their stuff in and some of it’s probably worth tens of millions by now but you’ll never find it in among the 1950s kitschy kitten sculptures and boxes of newspaper (the newspaper is a wonderful mix of yesterday’s guardian and daily courants from 1725)
vampire sailor from manderville’s time who just has so many stories and some of them might even be true
vampire bluestocking girl who took to the internet like a fish to water and spends her whole unlife engaging reddit antifeminists about women’s rights because that’s one fight she’s determined to see through. also with the advent of cheap dyes she literally wears blue socks every day and hopes one day someone gets the joke
vampire doctor who just gets SO CONFUSED about the literature because do you know how hard it is to keep up with medicine kevin? when i got my doctorate we thought leeches were good and then they were bad and now they’re good again? i was published in issue one of the lancet kevin that is 387 lancets kevin how the hell am i meant to remember which one’s current kevin why are they saying cannabis is good for pain like this is news??? (but also lives in a state of wonderment every day in hospital because wow look at all this stuff we can do now look at it kevin!)
entire coven of vampires constantly quibbling over manners because they’re all from different periods: “HATS OFF AT TABLE” “SCREW YOU LEONARD ONLY PEASANTS EAT BAREHEADED” “TABITHA THAT HASN’T BEEN GOOD MANNERS SINCE THE 1500S NOBODY HAS LICE ANY MORE” “IT ISN’T ABOUT LICE LEONARD IT’S ABOUT GOOD MANNERS YOU NEED TO HAVE GOOD MANNERS WHEN YOU HAVE PEOPLE OVER FOR DINNER” “I SWEAR TO GOD TABITHA IF YOU MAKE THAT PUN ONE MORE TIME I WILL SHOVE YOUR STUPID HAT DOWN YOUR THROAT”
vampire musicians who might not have been child prodigies but goddammit 500 years of practicing an instrument is bound to get you somewhere (also knowing the composer and being the first person to start playing a song doesn’t hurt either)
my favorite will always be vampires who know fuck-all about the standard major historical events because they were always somewhere else whenever big shit was going down:
“yeah i heard about the hundred years war but i was in northern african at the time so…”
“the roman empire fell??? how did the fucking roman empire fall??? i spend a fucking handful of decades in india and i come back to this???”
“russia needs to stop having revolutions, i can’t keep them all straight…”
“when did france become a democracy?? and america’s now it’s own country??? i’ve spent the last century in a forest in wallachia scaring small children so––wHat dO yOU meAn we’re calling it romania now??? when the fuck did it become romania???”
“WE HAD A WORLD WAR??? WE HAD TWO WORLD WARS???? well obviously ‘world’ is an exaggeration because i heard nothing about it while i was lost in the amazon rainforest for the last fifty years…”
“listen i spent most of the fourteenth century as a pirate in the south china sea so someone’s gonna had to clue me in on all this ‘black plague’ nonsense.”
ALSO vampires who were historical figures and get frustrated whenever they read something about themselves an are like “I NEVER SAID THAT OH MY GOD” and try and fight people on what they said three hundred years ago
We need vampire stories like that, instead of it all just about sex and love and oh gosh I’m so dark and edgy but tortured on the inside.
We need all these characters to meet up in groups, trying to help each other keep up with the times. Switching notes and sharing experiences to fill out the holes in history they missed themselves.
That’s the show… a therapy group of ancient vampires hanging out and sharing all these stories while trying to catch up with modern times. With a few mortals there to help going “Wtf, ain’t they supposed to… you know… be dark and broody and want our virgin blood or sumthing?”
What about different cultural vampires who aren’t sure which parts are cultural and which are natural. Like, “look at lee, whenever you throw rice on the ground, he’s gonna count every grain”
“god I hate ed so much. He likes to rub it in my face that he can go out in sunlight but at least we don’t shine like a giant ass beacon shouting ‘come stake me’ or something!”
“look at shan, he doesn’t burn either, at least not immediately. And he doesn’t even have any fangs. Is he even a real vampire? I hear he was more like a wolf than bat.”
(via thedenofravenpuff)
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[video]
Texts From Superheroes
It’s just a really embarrassing weakness that she doesn’t want to share.
Remember when Batman had boxes with all the superheroes weaknesses as contingencies for if they ever became evil? He opened up Wonder Woman’s box and it had nothing and he said it’s because he thinks she doesn’t even have a weakness and would be the biggest threat if she ever became evil
(Source: fromsuperheroes.com, via adurot)
take this thing where i’m John and @soupery is Jade (they’re already irl Jade Harley so :^) )
idk if the logos on the shirts are correct bc I’m basing it off of my memory at like 1 am when I was rlly tired.
Anne Frank's stepsister compares Donald Trump to Adolf Hitler -
Just in case you missed the link in my other post. As someone who has studied Holocaust Literature and who has done a lot of reading on 1935-45 Germany, I feel I am somewhat qualified to point out neo-Nazism when I see it. But if you don’t want to take my word for it, how about the word of Anne Frank’s stepsister, who survived a Nazi death camp, and knows–from first-hand experience–more than a little something about what a Nazi looks and sounds like.
Honestly, I hold Trump supporters in much, much lower regard than I do Hitler’s supporters leading up to, and during, WWII. Why? Because most of Hitler’s supporters had no idea what atrocities his ideology and rhetoric would lead to. Most were just average people who would never dream that their country could ever commit true evil. Very few people not directly involved with the death camps even knew they existed, much less what went on in them. When shown footage of death camps being liberated, hardened front line German soldiers wept openly, or threw up. Because they truly and honestly had no idea.
Trump’s supporters–including every Republican who speaks in his favor, who voted for him in the primaries, or who will vote for him in the general election–do not have that excuse. They cannot pretend to be unaware of where this is headed; all they have to do is look at recent history to see exactly what happened last time someone with Trump’s ideology rose to power over a nation.
And if they refuse to look, if they squeeze their eyes shut and turn away from all the evidence laid out before them, even resisting when those who know history tell them, “Look at this source,” well…
No one puts that much effort into refusing to see unless they already know what they will find, and want to avoid the responsibility that comes with that knowledge. And when you work that hard to avoid looking, you don’t get to claim unwitting ignorance.
No, Trump supporters know exactly where this is going. And they are eager to get there.
Reblogging myself because when Republicans start in about how it’s “unfair,” and “just name-calling” to characterize them as neo-Nazis, I think it is important to remember and to point out that in addition to Eva Schloss, numerous other Holocaust survivors and their children are comparing Trump and the modern American GOP to Hitler, and WWII Germany’s Nazi party, as well.
I’ll keep reblogging this and adding to it as long as Trump and his supporters continue to be neo-Nazis. Here’s another interesting article about Trump and his supporters in the American neo-Nazi party, aka the GOP, from the Atlantic.
I’m tired, but if you want, you can scroll back through my “rob gets political” tag, and/or “rob talks about fascism.” Somewhere in there are a couple of reading lists to further acquaint yourself with what fascism actually is, and how the Nazis rose to power in late 1930s Germany, so you can draw your own conclusions.
And again.
Even if it isn’t Nazi’s you have George Takei talking about it being the same situation that happened to the Japanese-American people in World War II too.
David Duke, former leader of the KKK, is going to run for Congress. He points to Trump’s success as inspiring him.
Just cause you support Trump doesn’t make you racist, but keep in mind that literally every racist DOES support him. I don’t know about you, but that screams “evil” to me.
That last point is the most critical. I really don’t think all Trump supporters are racist. I really don’t think they are all even bad people. I do believe that they are turning a blind eye to many clear signs of trouble and are refusing to acknowledge the problem.
(via adurot)
[video]
@probablyfakeblondewildcats are red
corbins are bleu
this could be the start
of something newthis is beautiful
(via taffybuns)
I COLORED IT
who
who let me do this