Silver Tongue

Jul 11

clientsfromhell:

Because of a client’s micromanagement, a job took an extra month to complete. I ask for my extra month’s pay, he pretends not to receive the bill and pushes back pay time. After two reminders he gets his accountant to call me.

Client’s accountant: We judge your work to be unprofessional and not on par with our expectations. We judge the project to be worth (price of initial quote), not one penny more.

Me: Your client constantly changed his mind over the course of the project and did not complain while I working with him. I told him the extra features he demanded would cost more for my time, and he agreed.

Client’s accountant: Yeah, I know, he’s the worst. Honestly, he bugged me into calling you to say he won’t pay the extra, but I’ll get him to call you. This isn’t in my pay grade.

You’ve got to love it when you’re not the only person hating a client from hell. He ruined both our days.

outcastsuggestion:

and then you realize, you’re just scared. all these problems are there because you’re scared and paranoid and overthink and you don’t know how to stop it.

(via irailleth-archive)

garrulus:

toocutetopay:

akai-kaede:

nilesymon:

i wonder if magic is real, but only in a really mundane way.

when i was little i could almost inerringly switch back to disney channel right as the ads ended when i was channel surfing.

maybe youve never accidentally crushed a ladybug underfoot. maybe your microwave popcorn never burns. maybe you can spin around lots and lots of times before you get dizzy.

is that magic??

honestly im not sure if these are magic or just small, invisible skills. im not sure which i like better.

My ankles never twist.  I’ve always been rather active, I did track for five years (all the running events), and one time while running I stepped in a hole, lost my shoe, and landed sprawling about five feet away.  I pulled my shoe on and kept running.

I have a coworker who somehow makes better coffee than everyone else even though the grounds come pre-measured and all you have to do is load them up and push a button.  I have a friend who has inch long nails that never break.  My brother can copy origami just by looking at the finished product and my mother can do the same with knots.  I knew a guy who never made an error when typing.

Maybe we all have little magics, the kind that you don’t realize you have.  Just tiny things that make your life slightly better but are completely unnoticed on the outside.

this is the cutest post i have ever read…

i can sometimes predict silly unimportant things…

I can always tell whodunit in whodunit games and films

(via taffybuns)

snout:

snout:

good comedic device: when somebody throws an object offscreen and an inappropriate sound effect plays such as an explosion

important addition to this post: when things that are not independently combustible violently explode on impact

And the whole gag ends with an angry cat noise

(via robustquestioner-deactivated202)

skidar:

hntrgurl13:

skidar:

rashkah:

zooophagous:

hashtagdion:

All animals go to heaven is just illogical planning. You’re telling me every crocodile that ever lived is in heaven? Heaven must be swarming crocodiles. Does that sound like heaven to you? Thousands of millions of crocodiles?

*SLAMS FIST ON TABLE*

YES, DAMMIT

image

And Steve Irwin is showering them all with affection

But does every Stingray go to heaven? I mean, what if Steve Irwin just randomly came across the Stingray that killed him?

Steve would probably pat it and say ‘Sorry I spooked you mate, gosh your a beauty! You must have grown three times since I last saw you!’ 

(via )

expedition-pokemon-go:

thelittlebassoonist:

nohriangrimleal:

obstacle-illusion:

is-sinnoh-confirmed-yet:

Whoever writes Team Rocket-style mottos for the Pokemon Go teams earns my undying gratitude.

To ignite the flame where true strength grows
To conquer the skies and the seas below
To radiate power from deep within
To finish the fight and expect to win,
(Names of party here)
Team VALOR stands tall, our courage shines through,
Surrender now or prepare to lose!

To illuminate the dark with harsh light
To channel our instincts and win the fight
To recognise and fulfil our inner desires
To start off strong and never fall to mire
(Names of party)
Team INSTINCT shines bright, our intuition reigns true
Surrender now or we’ll show you!

To discover the strength in the big and small
To learn all we can to catch them all
To fight back with knowledge against ignorance
To use our research as deliverance
(Names of party)
Team MYSTIC learns all; our knowledge is might
Surrender now or prepare to fight!

Dude.

@scraps-is-busy you’re team instinct, right?

(via robustquestioner-deactivated202)

[video]

[video]

When Naming Characters:

myslowclapprocessor:

Other Writers: Your name was given after long research and consideration. This is how it alludes to your character arc. This is its meaning in another language that ties in to your essential personality. 

 Me:

image

(via taffybuns)

filteredrays:

bpdjanedoe:

Some neurotypical: The demons inside my head.. my sick twisted head…I love them…I’m best friends with Lucifer the devil…

Mentally ill people: chill

you can say jared leto it’s okay

Even Satanist would be like “chill”

(via dan-mcneely-deactivated20210328)