(via taffybuns)
GUYS, DROP EVERYTHING
THIS IS IMPORTANT
COCONUT HEAD’S HAIR WAS JUST A WIG THE WHOLE TIME AND I THINK I JUST LOST THE WILL TO LIVE
:O
I COULD HAVE GONE MY WHOLE LIFE WITHOUT KNOWING AND THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN FANTASTIC
(via rosexknight)
Did you all know that Loki and Odin liked to hunt? One day they hunted an otter, and gave the pelt to the family of dwarves that owned the forest as a gift.
The otter was one of their family members who could shapeshift.
They then gave the dwarves cursed gold as an apology, and the dwarves killed each other out of greed, and the only survivor became a dragon.
And this is why Odin and Loki are massive a**holes.
The gods of Norse where kinda dicks. Like the entire reason Sleipnir exists is because Loki was helping to cheat a guy out of getting paid, as we established earlier last year or this year.
Thor literally could have a bad day and his go-to way to de-stress was to run off and beat the shit out of Frost Giants Regularly. I think Tyr was the only cool not-dick of them really, and the others mocked him for being so stupid and make him look away and Fenrir bit his hand off that was his sword hand, so had to learn to use a shield with that arm and a sword with the other.
Name a god that isn’t a dick.
I did, Tyr, also the harvest gods are pretty alright provided you remember to thank them for their bounty… the problem is sometimes those gods want human sacrifices to ensure a good bounty. And Athena was pretty cool, Ares was a dick though.
Demeter freezes the world a quarter of the year and nearly starved everybody to death all because she doesn’t like the fact her daughter is married to Hades. Seriously, she just about killed everybody. Even the other gods went “What the hell, lady. Those mortals need food!”
Athena’s good in the stories we have, but I imagine there are stories that were lost where she was a dick.
Hera threw her own son off the mountain, permenantly crippling him because the goddess of family only cares for “perfect” families. Ugly? have gay parents? have a father who deserted your mother? Too bad, hera doesn’t give a shit about you. Zeus rape your mother resulting in your birth? Too bad, hera blames you.
hera is the biggest bitch ever. she’s probably republican.
(via quartz-poker-deactivated2018120)
Friendly reminder that 1200 calories is the recommended amount for a 5 year old
this hit me.
another fact is that 500 calories isn’t even enough for a new born.
why did I go so long convinced that going over 500 in a day was the end of the world?
Another friendly reminder that the United States used 1,000 calorie diets as torture for political prisoners and justified it using the diet industry.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/04/17/bush-torture-memos-commer_n_188190.html
In a footnote to a May 10, 2005, memorandum from the Office of Legal Council, the Bush attorney general’s office argued that restricting the caloric intake of terrorist suspects to 1000 calories a day was medically safe because people in the United States were dieting along those lines voluntarily.
“While detainees subject to dietary manipulation are obviously situated differently from individuals who voluntarily engage in commercial weight-loss programs, we note that widely available commercial weight-loss programs in the United States employ diets of 1000 kcal/day for sustain periods of weeks or longer without requiring medical supervision,” read the footnote. “While we do not equate commercial weight loss programs and this interrogation technique, the fact that these calorie levels are used in the weight-loss programs, in our view, is instructive in evaluating the medical safety of the interrogation technique.”
Another another friendly reminder that the Minnesota Starvation Experiment subjected adult men who were VOLUNTEERS to 1,560 calorie diets and the psychological effects were so profound that one volunteer cut three of his own fingers off and could not remember why.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Minnesota_Starvation_Experiment
These men were volunteers who knew exactly what they would be going through and when it would end, and who believed they were doing it for a good and moral reason (the research was used to help rehabilitate victims of starvation and famine at the end of WWII).
And these are the things we are expected to engage in FOREVER to stay at a “healthy” weight.
Reading about the Minnesota Starvation experiment was my wake-up call. It was what kicked me out of my eating disorder. The guy missing three fingers, whatever his name was, he was the last straw for me.
Scared me so fucking bad I stopped restricting my food that day, and never went back to it.
In case any of you needed to see this again.
(via gearholder)
Did you all know that Loki and Odin liked to hunt? One day they hunted an otter, and gave the pelt to the family of dwarves that owned the forest as a gift.
The otter was one of their family members who could shapeshift.
They then gave the dwarves cursed gold as an apology, and the dwarves killed each other out of greed, and the only survivor became a dragon.
And this is why Odin and Loki are massive a**holes.
The gods of Norse where kinda dicks. Like the entire reason Sleipnir exists is because Loki was helping to cheat a guy out of getting paid, as we established earlier last year or this year.
Thor literally could have a bad day and his go-to way to de-stress was to run off and beat the shit out of Frost Giants Regularly. I think Tyr was the only cool not-dick of them really, and the others mocked him for being so stupid and make him look away and Fenrir bit his hand off that was his sword hand, so had to learn to use a shield with that arm and a sword with the other.
Name a god that isn’t a dick.
I did, Tyr, also the harvest gods are pretty alright provided you remember to thank them for their bounty… the problem is sometimes those gods want human sacrifices to ensure a good bounty. And Athena was pretty cool, Ares was a dick though.
Demeter freezes the world a quarter of the year and nearly starved everybody to death all because she doesn’t like the fact her daughter is married to Hades. Seriously, she just about killed everybody. Even the other gods went “What the hell, lady. Those mortals need food!”
Athena’s good in the stories we have, but I imagine there are stories that were lost where she was a dick.
Didn’t Athena create spiders as revenge for being one-up’d when it came to weaving?
And didn’t she turn the beautiful Medusa into a gorgon as punishment for being raped by Poseidon?She turned Medusa into a gorgon because of punishment for something else because there had to be punishment (I think she killed someone after getting raped? I don’t remember.) but the thought process behind turning her into a gorgon wasn’t “You got raped so here’s your curse.” It was “Look you have to be cursed because there has to be punishment but I’m going to curse you in a way that you can make sure no one ever rapes you again.”
Athena was actually pretty cool.
also, athena wasn’t one-upped. Arachnae challenged athena to a weaving contest because she believed herself better than the goddess of the loom. Athena one because that was literally her domain. Arachnae, distraught by the actions of her hubris attempted suicide via hanging but Athena gave her a second chance. The option to become a great weaver.
(via rosexknight)
if my life was a movie, I wonder how many sins it would get if it was reviewed by CinemaSins.
If you can turn your life into a major motion picture, we will gladly point out the sins.
(via cinema-sins)
[video]
Common misconception.
Secret Panel HERE!
(via gearholder)
I wonder what kind of loot I’ll drop when I die
I hate hate HATE all those 2edgy 4me theories about kids shows. Like Angelica dreaming up the rugrats, or the ed, edd, and eddy children being ghosts, or literally anything that takes a lighthearted and fun kids show and has to turn it into some tragic take of rape or murder or misinformed mental illness.
So you know what? From now on I’m gonna do the exact opposite. Every cool grim-dark show is now because of a bunch of children. To get us started:
Game of Thrones: A middle-school DnD campaign with the most angry, vindictive DM who has promised to kill everyone’s player characters (and their family) by the end.The Walking Dead: Some 13 year olds playing with nerf guns, but trying to be really serious about it because they’re all self conscious about playing with toys.
Breaking Bad: a teacher gave a kid some confiscated rock candy and now they’re fantasizing about his personal life.
*blesses you all for this*
Supernatural: a couple tween goth girls RPing with their OCs
Orphan Black: A girl has way too many identical barbie dolls, and makes them over instead.
Firefly: group of white suburbia kids can’t agree whether they want to play cowboys, Star Trek, pirates, or ninjas.
Blade: revenge fantasy of a tiny angry black girl shunned by a group of Twilight fangirls.
IT GOT BETTER.
warehouse 13: two kids dream up stories behind weird stuff in an antique shop
American Horror Story: a group of kids make up their own horror stories after their parents decide they’re too young to watch scary movies on TV.
NBC’s Hannibal: A snarky vegan teenager writes a series of short stories for her creative writing class about the evils of eating meat (Freddie Lounds is her self-insert, which is why she avoids eating human flesh by being a vegetarian.)
once upon a time: A girls self insert disney crossover fanfiction
(via ryukodragon)
