fun prank: go on dA and look for awful, beginning artists who draw cats/wolves on ms paint and comment on their picture and tell them how great it looks and that they should keep drawing because they’re going to get better and better, and to not be a dick about their drawing skill because they’re still starting out and learning!!!!
DRAW THEM FANART. DRAW THEM FANAAAAART. I’ll always remember the older people who humored me when I was an 11-year-old drawing cats and Pokemon, and when they drew my “OCs” I didn’t get over it for weeks. I still have some that I printed out and put in the front of my binder.
You don’t have to become a mentor, and you don’t have to tell them anything about their art that isn’t true. But you CAN make them shit their pants with just an hour or two of your time, and some of them won’t ever forget the first time someone acknowledged their creativity.
zombies who are super frustrated with their speech impediments and lack of fine motor skills because it makes it hard to communicate even a few of their many thoughts and ideas to others, and come off as slow or stupid
greek-style gods who walk around in the streets like ultra-powerful celebrities, just chilling
dragons who still kidnap teenagers, rescuing them from abusive and unhealthy home lives and keeping youth off the streets
witches who make illegal spell deals in the early hours of the morning. people spike their coffees with charisma and alertness potions.
rare angels who have serious issues with personal space because no for the billionth time you can not touch my fucking wings back off bitch
sirens who are furious that they can’t sing when their non-siren friends play fall out boy in the car because they’ll distract the driver and probably die
an android civil rights movement centered around technological art, circuits and code filling art galleries and techno music at an all-time high with more subdivisions than rock
Alright for the customer being owned story. So the clothing company I work for does special coupons throughout the year. Pretty much you spend over 50 you get 25 “bucks” over 100 you get 50 and so on and so forth. So the policy for the transaction is that you only get one coupon for the transaction due to the fact that we have to scan to activate them. If they are not scanned and activated they are pretty much just a pretty piece of paper to live in the bottom of your purse forever. Well I had a horrid woman to ring up who purchased over $600 in items. for one thing our registers are only capable of ringing up 60 items before attempting to shut down completely under pressure of scanning more items. This being said luckily she only had 50 or so items. So we are told as cashiers to try and ring everything up in one transaction if possible, it goes a lot quicker for the most part and is good to have everything in one place. So I ring up this woman. Everytime I scan an item and fold it she wants me to tell her the price with the discounts applied, (this is visible to her on the card swipe) she want to know what the discount was, how much the total was at that moment, then how much she saved. So as you can imagine it’s going slow. Everytime I folded an item she would slap my hand say no no no and unfold it, she would then hold it up then make me fold it again. So I’m irritated, the transaction is going to take a while because my computer begins slowing down after 36 or so items and I have this woman smacking me every 3 minutes. I remain calm and keep telling myself it is almost over. Finally the last item is done and I scan her fake buck to be used during its designated time when we have the sale and am trying to send her on her way. She then starts yelling at me saying “I Spent 600 I should be getting 300 in fake money where is my money??????” So with the most cheery smile I tell her the policy and she then starts berating me saying that I am a horrible b****h and am cheating her out of her money and that she wants the manager. I call over our manager for the night who is also our GM and tell him the situation. Of course the woman begins to act all sweet and as if I had not already informed her of the situation. He looks to me and sees the dead look in my eyes and grab what would be the proper amount of coupons she was asking for goes to my computer and deletes the one I scanned thus deactivating it and hands all of the useless paper over to her. She of course is over joyed and with her reciept in her hand she turns to me and says smugly “Oh I forgot to tell you I have a coupon for my purchase.” My manager then takes her coupon looks at it and says, “ma'am we can’t apply it to the transaction since you have already been rung up (this is a lie) and it expires today so I will dispose of it, thank you for shopping at (insert store) we are now closed.” and he ripped up the coupon in front of her and threw it away.
You need:
- this berry that grows on one tree in the middle of Russia
- crystals that cost more than your life is worth
- some substance that is probably illegal
- be sure to throw it into mount doom when you’re done uwu
ok so what if Harry and Neville got into like this passive-aggressive lie-off regarding what a truly great man Severus Snape was like they got drunk and Harry was like ‘Snape though’ and Neville was like ‘I know right’ and Harry was like ‘what a… what a fantastic bastard. What a guy.’ and Neville was like ‘we should fuckin’ get him like, like… let’s have a funeral. A huge fucking fuck-off sized funeral with like, lilies, and, a marble coffin, and a big statue, an’ crying women, an’ all that shit’ and Harry got whiskey up his nose laughing so hard and he falls off his stool and just wheezes ‘lillies’
and then during the funeral Neville and Harry like spend the whole time trying to give a better eulogy like they keep getting back up after each other are done to try and have another go at it but then they get schooled by Hermione being like ‘for fuck’s sake boys this is how it’s done’ and she goes up to the podium and just bursts into wild banshee hysterics and throws herself across the glistening marble casket, sobbing ‘oh, it should have been me, would to god that it were me, you stallion of a professor’ and all the reporters tear up a little and then go home to pen really fervid biopics on this bleakly noble and tragically overlooked hero of the revolution
anyway like eighteen years later Harry names his kid after Severus and sends an owl off to Neville like ‘your move, mate’ and Nevill pauses in the middle of polishing the giant marble statue of Snape tenderly cuddling an armfull of adoring woodland creatures that dominates like 2/3 of his office to cuss a lot and pour himself another drink
The only acceptable reason for Harry to name is kid after Snape
