POC not wanting to date white people because of a history of colonization and systematic powers of oppression, fear of or weariness over casual and blatant racism, and/or the lack of a shared culture is NOT that same as white people not wanting to date POC because of caricatures that they created, stereotypes that they mock and replicate, and their own racism–whether they think they’re racist or not.
In short: POC are not and cannot be racist for not wanting to date white people. Whereas white people are just plain racist.
That’s basically it. Me not wanting to date a white guy because I don’t want to deal with casual racism as I have always experienced in flirtationships and relationships with white men is not the same as a white male not wanting to date me purely because I am black.
My reasoning for not dating him is the very source of why he won’t even deem me dateable.
You cannot claim to preach equality while holding one side to a different standard based on the same criteria. Namely, you can’t say it’s racist for one side to not do something, but it’s perfectly fine for the other side to do the exact same thing. If it’s racist to not want to mix races for a white person, it’s the same for a black or Latino person. I’m Latino - it’s racist if I refuse to date a black, white, or Asian person just because of their race. Because I’m assigning specific qualities to someone’s race because I think less of them. That’s what racism is.
Furthermore, you’re lumping in everyone with racists - basically, you’re acknowledging the fact you’re prejudiced and racist by saying that the other side is prejudiced and racist, then saying it’s okay because…they’re prejudiced and racist. It’s a self fulfilling prophecy - you say they’re racist, so it’s okay to be racist against them so you’re racist against them because they’re racist.
Also, did you consider that maybe a white guy doesn’t want to date you because you basically just told him he’s a terrible human being while dehumanizing him on the basis of skin? In other words, how you’re acting and not your skin!
