Silver Tongue

Jun 05

thecarlonethatalsowrites:

espeoradar:

samarajournal:

paulichu:

adriofthedead:

zzdigital:

What if someone got bitten by a vampire, but didn’t realize it. So then they go around and keep misidentifying all the symptoms, like

“Dude, you haven’t gone outside in a while.”
“Yeah, last time I went out I got this wicked sunburn.”

“Are you still up?”
“Yeah, I started bing watching this show on Netflix.”

“Dude, I’m seriously craving something right now.”
“Like what?”
“I dunno. Pizza rolls?”

“Why is it that you never come into my house unless I invite you?”
“Um, it’s called ‘being polite’…?”

“I tried cooking with garlic the other night and got this serious burn on my hand. I think I’m allergic, but all I’m getting on Google is vampire bullshit.”

“Dude can a mirror like… stop working or something?”

“Dude, why do you keep posting pictures of the floor?”
“…Those are meant to be selfies, I guess my camera must be broken.”

“Dude, I am all for you expressing your religious beliefs, but could you not wear your crucifix when I’m around? It really bugs me for some reason.”

“I went to church yesterday and the holy water was really hot!”

(via saccharinecyanide)

vikingish:
“mickeycookies:
“chaomanderz:
“soakedwithink:
“pietro-goes-nyoom:
“I was (re)watching AoU the other when I noticed something interesting. One of Tony’s chips is labeled Jocasta, which is a nice little reference to the comics, but the...

vikingish:

mickeycookies:

chaomanderz:

soakedwithink:

pietro-goes-nyoom:

I was (re)watching AoU the other when I noticed something interesting. One of Tony’s chips is labeled Jocasta, which is a nice little reference to the comics, but the other…

image
image

Tony has a system labeled Tadashi.

I WAS WONDERING WHEN SOMEONE ELSE WOULD NOTICE

lipox24 - proof I’m not crazy

mickeycookies DUDE

I CAN’T BELIEVE THAT JUST FLEW RIGHT PAST ME I’M HONESTLY DISAPPOINTED IN MYSELF RIGHT NOW

And while I think this one is purely coincidence, a few people seem to think this guy 

image

looks an awful lot like someone else

image
chibi-choo

He’s even making personal jet devices

(via thatsthat24)

c-a-k-e:

psychic: *reads my mind*

my mind: *only endless screaming*

psychic: what the fuck

(via mx-bones-deactivated20160831)

lizzymodblog:

princesscobwebs:

tramampoline:

sparklesnot:

devotionaura:

innocouslyinane:

devotionaura:

Can someone PLEASE find me the greentext of the guy who gets a job as an IT guy or something but he has no idea how to do anything so he just keeps installing like??? I think like Microsoft outlook or something anytime someone has a problem w their work pc and he gets away with it for like six months or something

http://imgur.com/gallery/iJD8f and this guy reads it pretty well, too.

THANK U I LOVE U!!!!!!! this is my fav greentext

this is amazing

part 2: http://imgur.com/gallery/AOz0d

this is the funniest thing I’ve ever read

image

(Source: azamikurotani, via )

idiopathicsmile:

ash-of-the-loam:

beautiesofafrique:

bogleech:

dimetrodone:

People horrifically fucking up facts about evolution and genetics too support their stupid beliefs or to seem smart and “rational” is probably one of my big pet peeves 

Yeah. An enormous number of racists, misogynists, homophobes and transphobes I’ve met eventually whip out something about evolutionary biology and they never, ever, ever, ever have the slightest shadow of even a half-right idea what any of it means or ever cite a claim ever actually made by a scientific study.

Here’s a quick handy reference list or anyone who isn’t sure:

  • Homosexuality does exist in almost all social species.
  • “Alpha males” are not a real phenomenon and in fact the most aggressive males tend to be the least reproductively successful.
  • “Survival of the fittest” simply means that the success of a species hinges on how well it “fits” its environment. It does not mean that stronger or smarter individuals are supposed to succeed. Those things can even be a detriment in nature by wasting too many resources.
  • “Race” is not a biological concept. Someone who looks different from you has the same human genes, just a different grab-bag of dominant traits.
  • Evolution is not a march towards higher complexity, more intelligence or even more adaptability. It’s just a fluctuation of characteristics dictated by environmental pressures and mutation. A slime mold isn’t “less evolved” than a hawk, just adapted for success under different parameters.
  • People didn’t evolve “from apes.” It’s more complicated than that. We are a category of ape, sharing a common ancestor with the other apes.
  • No human on Earth is “closer” to an evolutionary ancestor than any other. We all descended from the same one.
  • Neanderthals were also a “sibling” species of ours. We didn’t evolve from them.
  • Some of us did, however, cross-breed with Neandethal man. It is exclusively non-African races, such as white people, who still carry hybrid human/Neanderthal genes. Whoops, sorry “white purity” skinheads, you’re actually mixed with a whole other species.

Just had to reblog this because I am honestly so tired of people claiming that Africans are “less evolved” than everyone else 

My addition to the above list:

Epigenetics does not have anything at all to do with genetic memories. It is a thing that affects characteristics like health risks, and this speculation floating around about how phobias could be related to some ancestral trauma is complete and utter nonsense.

It’s only a matter of time before such a claim is used as another pseudoscientific tool in the arsenal of people claiming that bloodlines have anything to do with the validity of one’s worship of European pantheons. “My ancestors were Swedish, and because of epigenetics I have genetic memories passed down from those ancestors, so therefore my connection with the gods is better than yours!”

Just, no. Stop. STOP.

gonna also chime in here:

saying the “male brain” works one way and the “female brain” works another way is ludicrous. for so many reasons, even beyond the obvious of imposing that tired old either/or mentality with regards to maleness and femaleness

occasionally you will read about how a study suggests that “men are naturally better at spacial reasoning” or “women are naturally better at cooperation”, but for one thing, given how early the brain wires itself and how easy it is to influence the wiring (like, disturbingly easy), and given the tremendous social expectations we face from pretty much the moment we leave the freaking womb, it’s impossible to study gender differences in a vacuum. 

like, do your findings prove that “women are better at reading faces”, or do they prove that, when you are part of a group that has been socialized since birth to be “nice”, to take care of other people, and to above all avoid making folks angry, you damn well have to learn how to read the room, and read it fast.

also, the “left brain, right brain” thing is bunk. there are not, like emotion-driven people and logic-driven people. everybody is primarily emotional. that circuitry is older and reacts much faster, and this is why nobody is immune from sometimes making wildly irrational decisions.

(via thatsthat24)

Pegasi in bird baths?
Pegasi thinking sleep time after cloth on head?
Yes to both.

Pegasi in bird baths?

Pegasi thinking sleep time after cloth on head?

Yes to both.

ollivander:
“gracejerksit:
“well that place has gotta be haunted
”
no look it specifically says “Not Haunted”, see? everything is fine
”
White father having just moved in: “well family, this is a whole new start for us…”

ollivander:

gracejerksit:

well that place has gotta be haunted

no look it specifically says “Not Haunted”, see? everything is fine

White father having just moved in: “well family, this is a whole new start for us…”

(Source: erinisagoddess, via zeroyalviking)

just-shower-thoughts:

Why are wrestling rings called “rings” if they’re square?

because in greece, the place where wrestling started, the rings were circular.

(via just-shower-thoughts)

lizzymodblog:

Over here, It’s 30 degrees Celsius outside today.

To give you Americans an idea, that’s 86 degrees Fahrenheit.

The temperature over here is usually about half that.

I am melting.

It’s only 86 there? lol.

(via )

across-this-new-divide:

aboutmaleprivilege:

Male privilege is oversexualizing a normal part of a woman’s body to the point where she is punished for wearing a pair of shorts at school. They are legs and they get me where I need to go. I don’t “display” them for your enjoyment, I just made a mistake by assuming that partially exposing an appropriate part of my body on an 80 degree day wouldn’t land me in detention.

THE FUCKING TRUTH BEHIND THIS HURTS.

(Source: all-about-male-privilege, via saccharinecyanide)