i’ll forgive u for asking the wrong blog because me and some buds were joking abt this like three weeks ago and never had an excuse to actually draw it youre the worst thanks
The Gang only really does this once because its a mess. asriel’s made of good vibes and like a fistful of potting soil and chara’s got a shitty skinny little bird body so splitting a wine cooler destroys them both. they work on cowriting this madlibs-ass Work of Original Fiction whenever theyre not preoccupied with ralphing and crying its a hoot
meanwhile frisk, who is 200+lbs of Actual Meat, stops at the same time they do and wonders if theyre being punked
vikings made their woman handle the finances because they thought math is witchcraft
The idea that unicorns are only able tamed and captured by virgins originated as a medieval joke. The idea was that it took a mythical creature to catch a mythical creature.
There was once an English minstrel called Roland the Farter. He was awarded lands by the king on the condition that he turn up to the court every Christmas to perform his characteristic “whistle, leap and a fart”. His children could keep the lands after his death if they learnt and performed the same trick.
There is graffiti from the Norse invaders that reads (roughly) “ I slept with Ingiborg, the most beautiful woman in the world ”
A close friend of Alexander the Great named Dioxippus, once told one of his generals, named Coragus, to stop being so up himself, Coragus took offence and challenged him to a duel in front of all of his troops unaware that Dioxippus was a champion of Pankration, Ancient Greek Wrestling. Coragus turned up with all of his weapons and armour, Dioxippus turned up naked with a club, lathered in Olive Oil. The match was over in about 5 mins and Coragus got his arse well and truly kicked.
When an army of Swedes went off to war with the Norwegians, they left all the women to manage everything, however, in the village of Smaland, right on the Southern Border, they were attacked by an opposing force of Danes. The women, led by a woman named Blenda, responded to this by inviting the invaders in, feeding them, making them comfy and basically having a massive party to get them REALLY drunk. When all the invaders all passed out, the women slaughtered them all with anything they could find, and when the men came back, the King was so impressed that he basically granted them a bunch of new rights that were previously unavailable to them. From that point on, all daughters had the right to inherit property, money and land equally with their brothers, and were allowed to wear military-style garments around town and at their weddings. They were also given the prestigious right to wear the Royal Coat of Arms on their clothing – a tradition that has lasted to this day.
The term in Chess “Checkmate” is thought to have come from the Persian term “Shah Mat” which means “The King is dead”.
Captain Benjamin Hornigold, the mentor to Edward “Blackbeard” Teach, once captured a ship just so he could steal all of the crew’s hats, because his crew had gotten drunk the night before and thrown all of theirs overboard.
Napoléon Bonaparte, the Corsican soldier who eventually became the Emperor of France following the French Revolution and Maximilien de Robespierre’s “Reign of Terror”, was terrified of cats.
So this lady cut me when I tried to mount my bike on the bus. She justified saying “I’ll probably get off before you do” without even asking where my destination was - it was the last stop.
Before I got a chance to reply she was already mounting her bike on the collapsible bike rack that folded out in front of city buses, on the FRONT spot of all places. Making it tremendously hard for the second bike rider to mount their bike. She goes in to pay her fare while I struggle with rolling my bike across the back spot.
Thinking on the spot, I did have a few stray extra thick zip-ties from my warehouse job in my pocket and I just zipped a few motherfuckers on that bitches wheel to the bus rail.
I intentionally leave the bus a few stops before the final destination, trading off a longer commute to get off clean. I just wish I was there to see her struggle with tugging her bike out.
