Silver Tongue

Apr 06

(via scraps-is-busy)

urbanfuck:

urbanfuck:

urbanfuck:

anal sneezes are cute as shit

sorry iphone the word i was looking for was “animal” sneezes better luck next time

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this is not what i want to be remembered for

(via )

t0nberry:

starcunning:

lemonadesoda:

feralmermaids:

maralie:

i really love our generation’s joke trend of like, very calm but incredibly inflated hyperbole. like nobody says “oh she’s pretty” anymore we say “i would willingly let her murder me” and everyone is just like “lol same”

i think “same” is also great and “me,” i love when somebody reblogs a picture of like, a lizard, and just says “me” and we all know exactly what they mean. the current online Humor Discourse is remarkable because we trade exclusively in metaphors and implications and nobody ever, ever says anything outright and yet EVERYBODY understands each other perfectly

#ppl are gonna write their dissertations on this shit (x)

// @antlered-kitten

This reminds me of the time when I was on vacation with my family and we were hiking, and after using a rest stop, the conversation turned to the grossness of outhouses and port-a-potties, and I said that if I ever got splashback from a port-a-potty, “my soul would depart my body.” My parents found that hilarious, and my dad commented that my generation can be so clever with words bc he would only think to say something like “It would be disgusting” which doesn’t convey the sentiment nearly as well as “my soul would depart my body.”

Adjacent but relevant is Tia Baheri’s “Your Ability to Can Even: A Defense of Internet Linguistics”

I find this so intriguing because it opens up so many possibilities for future writers to connect with their readers.

(via )

suppermariobroth:
“ In Super Mario 64, Mario’s model is replaced by a low-polygon version whenever he is in motion far away from the camera. Zooming in using an emulator, we can see this up close.
”

suppermariobroth:

In Super Mario 64, Mario’s model is replaced by a low-polygon version whenever he is in motion far away from the camera. Zooming in using an emulator, we can see this up close.

(via )

vikinglibertarian:
“ zombie-alpaca-sex-tarp:
“ bestrooftalkever:
“ coolstoryrob:
“ meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeerlin:
“ serionsly:
“ voyagevisuelle:
“ This a Moonmelon, scientifically knows as asidus. This fruit grows in some parts of Japan, and is known for...

vikinglibertarian:

zombie-alpaca-sex-tarp:

bestrooftalkever:

coolstoryrob:

meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeerlin:

serionsly:

voyagevisuelle:

This a Moonmelon, scientifically knows as asidus. This fruit grows in some parts of Japan, and is known for its vibrant blue color. What you probably don’t know about this fruit is that it can switch flavors after you eat it. Everything sour will taste sweet, everything salty will taste bitter, and it gives water a strong orange-like taste. It’s also very expensive…costing about ¥16000 JPY (which is about 200 dollars).

or you know this could be photoshopped

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but idk

you tell me

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this is alexandrias melon (wow)

it never grows seeds but it can still produce other melons (its magic)

it is grown deep in the jungles of peru and can prevent you from aging well into the hundreds

it is known by the natives there as k’uhul ajaw cacao shi-jiiy.

its really strange how all of these pictures look exactly the same because everything on the internet is true

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This is the Peppermeloni. (seriously gosh just look at that sexy mother fucker) Its scientific name is Tumblrous Pepperonus.

The only known specimen is in a pot in David Karps treasure dungeon. It is a tradition that a single slice is given to every tumblr blog that reaches 500,000 followers.

It has the remarkable property of being as healthy as watermelon but tasting like cheesy pepperoni pizza.

This planet is really just so amazing guys wow.

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Patrickmelon

The taste of this melon will always surprise you.

I’m fucking done with this site

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This is the evermelon.

If you cut this watermelon a certain way you will find that it has seemingly regenerated. You can do this an infinite number of times and will have a neverending supply of melon.

(via )

jets-break-the-soundbarrier:
“ the only moon landing conspiracy theory i’ll ever believe
”

jets-break-the-soundbarrier:

the only moon landing conspiracy theory i’ll ever believe 

(via taffybuns)

[video]

[video]

sucymemebabaran:

sucymemebabaran:

most relatable thing i’ve ever seen was this tumblr quiz where one of the questions was like “how do u feel about memes” and one of the choices was “I hate them. I post them constantly.”

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(via )

gynocieum:

yeah-thats-me-ari:

gynocieum:

Jasper is making the weirdest fucking noise. He sounds like an angry garbage disposal.

(Rebecca Sugar herself said all Gems use female pronouns, just a note, a fun fact)

Jasper is my cat

(via capriinae)