Silver Tongue

Mar 16

weedmum:
stygianzinogre:
crimson–peach:
weedmum:
When you work at Lush and customer comes in and bites the soap because they think it’s cheese
this happens way more frequently than you think, i assure you
Well if you frickers stopped literally presenting soap as deli food maybe it wouldnt happen?
who goes into a bath store and thinks something covered in glitter is cheese
who goes to the store and just takes a bite from the cheese

(Source: jewghoul, via aeritus)

i [23m] gave my girlfriend [21f] my discord password and she used it to hack into my account to change my theme from dark theme to light theme the new age of cyber crimes is here

toastyboobs:

(Source: bobacupcake, via moonpaw)

theothin:

prokopetz:
If all of the Metroid games are canon, Samus Aran has run into a cosmic evil force that tried to evolve into the ultimate planet-destroying weapon and ended up turning into a copy of her on multiple unrelated occasions.
samus: “if I had a nickel for every time a cosmic evil force hijacked part of my power suit and turned into a clone of me, I’d have two nickels. which isn’t a lot, but it’s weird that it happened twice”

is this including the time a mind controlling shapeshifting cosmic parasite that could infect the entire galaxy stole her look?

(via chefpyro)

[video]

gahdamnpunk:

Lmfaaooooo Norway just called the US a dusty ass bitch and they ain’t wrong

honestly i feel like the only way for the US to get a decent healthcare and education system IS for the entire world to shame us for not having them already

(via newbarrk)

(Source: anxietyproblem, via newbarrk)

shinyopals:

Writing advice: don’t use adverbs ever or everything you do is terrible
Best selling author and scriptwriter Neil Gaiman:

(via newbarrk)

aeritus:

of course, if Jade is fav character, he gotta be fav kid (they swap sometimes, depend a lot on my mood)
I forgot how fun those are to made tbh

(via aeritus)

kedreeva:

lastvalyrian:
dopo-magari-lo-cambio:
taylorswifh:
third day of italian quarantine: everything is closed, everyone is at home and so… WILD BOARS ARE IN MY TOWN WITH THEIR BABIES!!!! i’m laughing so hard
In my hometown a random horse appears.
There’s a horse. LOOSE. during QUARANTINE
There are monkeys, used to being fed by tourists, who are now coming into the city looking for food. Rival gangs of them are fighting over what food they can find.
The Nara deer, the ones who bow for their feed crackers, who would usually be fed by visitors to the park, are wandering out of the park and into strange places in search of food and, presumably, people.
In the absence of humans, animals are moving into spaces they were unable to get to before. Since humans are still around, this isn’t great, but it’s kind of neat to think that if all humans disappeared, animals would not take long to start returning.

its been barely even 2 weeks and nature is reclaiming the earth and if thats not beautiful, i dont know what is

(via newbarrk)

ambris:

CUTE!!

(via chefpyro)