Silver Tongue

Dec 30

calliopes-choice-cherub-rump:

pruss-in-boots:

crusherccme:

found this gem in the 1996 Cornell Women’s Handbook. it’s what to say when a guy tries to get out of using a condom

i just love the sassy ones

‘it doesn’t feel good’ 'neither does sleeping alone bitch’ 'maybe u should try the next size down lol’

'it spoils the mood’ 'so does your attitude’

(via )

[video]

Pizza vs. Your Crush

dominos:

While your crush is beautiful, so is pizza. You get the same butterflies in your stomach when your crush talks to you as when the delivery guy rings the doorbell.

Domino’s has a Pizza Tracker. Your crush does not. Unpredictability is your crush’s downfall.

The winner in this battle royale is pizza.

Pizza vs. Your Crush

Why not just date a pizza delivery person so you can have both?

(via adurot)

zodiacmind:

Fun facts about your sign here

(via zodiacmind)

[video]

extradan:

Tumblr promotes blogs I dont like on my dashboard only to make me hate and despite them at some point for no justfied reason.

Xkit has an extension to prevent suggested blogs

[video]

newtellur-the-fortune-teller:

alice-the-koala:

forever-confessed:

alice-the-koala:

Reblog for a pun in your ask. I will do every singe one.

I did not lie, I have done over 130 of them.

HOLY ASS CRACK

see, i am God

16K NOTES AND I GOT ONE??? HOW THE HELL-

(via paper-shepard-deactivated201610)

[video]

(Source: gl360, via paper-shepard-deactivated201610)