*as a roman emperor, reclining* ah! i see you’ve managed to pass my trials. but worry not; for my next *eunich tries to feet me grapes* hey. fuckin *tries to put more in my mouth* fuckin stop
As much as I mildly despair about the functionality of Tumblr, I’m forever grateful we don’t have the creative interface of other social media platforms.
I keep seeing youtubers talking about how the new algorithm on their creative dash is so detrimental to their mental health, both in terms of how they feel about themselves as creators and the content they make—dreading to find out their performance rating, regardless of whether they enjoyed it or not. And it’s the same across multiple other platforms, TickTock, Facebook, Instagram. Fuck, I’ve even seen people with business accounts complaining on Twitter.
And then there’s Tumblr. Where sometimes you can’t find your own posts even though you know you tagged it, time stamps are hidden in the ellipses at the top right hand corner of the post, your bread recipe keeps getting flagged as porn, too much punctuation causes asks not to send, and checking your activity feed causes the app to crash. You want to know your trending numbers? You want to know what’s performing well? Fuck you, guess.
between the lack of algorithm and the follower count not being public, we are all equal in this hell of our own creation
Okay I read the plot of Cruella (2021) and Holy Hell this is a mess.
Here’s some highlights: (Be warned: there will be spoilers)
Cruella’s name is Estella
She is born with her signature half white and half black hair … Kay…
Her mother - I sh*t you not, is pushed over a cliff by Dalmatians and she dies (which is why Cruella I guess, wants to skin 99 puppies?)
Estella moves to London - and befriends Jasper and Horace
She eventually gets on the Baroness’ radar and works as an intern and works her way up the ranks
Until the baroness uses a motherf*cking dog whistle to call some Dalmations to her side and Cruella comes to the conclusion that the baroness killed her mother (by having the dogs run her off a cliff mufasa style) - and she’s right!
Cruella pulls some hijinks yada yada yada
She has her friend Anita Darling help get her publicity (because Anita is a journalist)
Cruella does something to mess with the baroness that results in her lawyer Roger (yes, that Roger) getting fired and he returns to being a pianist
Oh, and there’s a side plot involving the baroness wearing Cruella’s mother’s necklace and she wants it back - but a Dalmatian eats it
Eventually the dog (who Cruella dognaps) coughs it up or something (cause it’s pg13 she ain’t gonna be digging around in the dogs intestinal tract)
And then some dude who’s like, the baroness’s chauffeur or something tells Cruella the necklace is a key to a special box that the baroness keeps under high security
(Dont ask me how a random necklace is a key to a box)
Cruella steals and opens the box - and Dun Dun Dun! It contains Estella’s (Cruella) birth records! Shes actually the baroness’s daughter! Gasp!
But she didnt want her so she like faked her kids death or something??
Anyway - Cruella shows up at the baroness’s party and declares she knows shes her birth mother (her other mother was a maid who raised her in secret and I guess the baroness decided to kill her for some reason?)
So the baroness uses the dog whistle again and tries to murder her daughter by chasing her off a cliff using her Dalmations (the baroness really only has one shtick huh?)
Cruella falls off a cliff - but - she has a parachute and I guess lands safely because we don’t know whats at the bottom of the cliff? (Is it jagged rocks on a shoreline, is it an elephant graveyard, or a soft meadow of flowers? Who’s to say…. its a tumoltuous sea storm with crashing waves)
Did I forget to mention the parachute is apparently made from Cruella’s skirt?
The police arrest the baroness and somehow Cruella gets the rights to owning the baroness’s mansion - she nicknames it ‘Hell Hall’
But what about the Dalmations you say??
Cruella still likes them and even helps one of the dogs give birth to…you guessed it (pongo and perdita) - and gifts them to Roger and Anita
Oh and now both Anita and Roger respect and admire Cruella and her finesse - so Roger writes his song “Cruella De Ville” in honor of how cool he thinks she is.
honestly really fucking sick that this website claims to be such a progressive and safe place and yet now i can’t spend more than 5 minutes here without falling into a spike trap :/
totally agree. i wasn’t going to do this, but yeah, i have a lot to say on the matter. (rant beneath the cut)
