Seriously this isn’t as bad as half the shit i’ve done.
Drank gasoline on a bet
Got windex in my eyes
had the roof of my mouth ripped due to a curtain hanger
stepping on a rusty nail
shot myself with a nail gun
had 200 lbs of shelving fall on my big toe
slammed my pinkey toe repeatedly into a corner
it doesn’t even make my top 10 stupid shit i’ve done
We have all done stupid things. Even me.
1. Went through 4 weeks of straight pain and misery avoiding the doctor only to find out I had strep throat.
2. Played tug-a-war with my grandfather and using the hose, only to get a huge hunk of skin ripped off my hand.
3. Breaking my tail bone for a second time, thinking I could do a flip on the monkey bars.
4. Played with a friend’s over zealous pitt bullpuppy only to get 7 stitches in my nose. (Hooray for hospital visit.)
5. Stepped on a hunk of concrete that broke off into the pool and it getting stuck.
6. Getting Jalepeno juice squirt into my eye while cooking (THAT SHIT BURNS)
7. Landed on a burning creepy crawler plate and getting a nasty burn.
8. Getting head butted by my horse, because she was spooked.
9. Nearly getting killed 7 times. (All either animal or nature based incidents.)
10. And one of those being, being pinned to a wall by my first horse and nearly being stomped to death, because I failed to see she was not in the mood for my shit. (To be fair, I was 8 years old.)
Friend i worry for you
1) I’m blind in one eye due to a cat accident when I was 4. It physically ripped out my eye and now my pupil bleeds off into my iris.
2) I’ve broken nearly every bone in my body at least twice, minus some part of my skull and head.
3) I have broken my middle finger and my ring finger on my right hand about 4 times each
4) I broke my arm on a trampoline when I was 6 and tried to play it off like nothing happened.
5) I’ve had my foot broken by having our horse step on it when she got scared.
6) I’ve had stitches in my cheek from being bitten by a dog. Twice.
7) I have been bitten by countless snakes.
8) When I was a child I fell into a cactus patch
9) I’ve had a stick stuck in my eye. Actually stuck. Like poking into my eyeball physically.
10) Multiple near death experiences because I am short
PONI WHAT THE HELL!? I AM NOW VERY WORRIED ABOUT YOU
“Hey I want to return this charger I got it’s defective.”
“Alright. Let’s take a look.”
*charger is held together with electrical tape, has chew marks from small animals, etc*
“This is…super not defective ma'am.”
“Well it hasn’t been 30 days.”
“Our return policy is 15 days. Sorry you’ll have to take this up with the manufacturer.
“Here’s your item that you’re picking up.”
“That box is dusty.”
“Ma'am?”
“That box is dusty I want another one.”
“I can wipe it off for you.”
“No I want another one.”
What? This is almost as bad as the “return my gift card guy.” Ok, it might be worse.
That was the only one we had in store so I just took it to the back, wiped it off, and gave it to her.
I remember my dad worked at an off brand home depot and someone was complaining about the paint not being the right shade of green so my dad took it in the back, just sat around and did nothing for 15 minutes and then brought it back and hte customer was happy with teh new shade of green
