Silver Tongue

Jun 30

questionall:

pileofmonkeys:

I have waited tables. I’ve worked in bars. You know who tips well? The working poor, the lower middle class, and people who work or have worked in service industries. You know who tips shitty or not at all? Rich people, upper middle class people, and privileged fuckers who use their “moral opposition” to tipping to be cheap assholes. 

This is very true.

(via saccharinecyanide)

demonangelslayer:
“ I SWEAR TO GOD IF IT’S AN ALLEYGATOR I’M GONNA YELL
”

demonangelslayer:

I SWEAR TO GOD IF IT’S AN ALLEYGATOR I’M GONNA YELL

(via robustquestioner-deactivated202)

demonangelslayer:
“ I AM VERY UPSET
”

demonangelslayer:

I AM VERY UPSET

(via robustquestioner-deactivated202)

sammywhatammy:

redheadeddisneyfreak:

sheriffwxy:

totalspiffage:

soulpunchftw:

agatharights:

musicofthestage:

crutchiee:

tbbackus:

lucasbieneke:

Apparently my director went to see a production of West Side Story a few years ago, and the guy playing Chino forgot his gun before coming out for his final scene. Once it got to the big scene where he is supposed to shoot Tony, he screeched “Poison Boots” and kicked the actor playing Tony until he went down. The girl playing Maria then had to jerk the shoe off of Chino’s foot, and had to do the gunshot scene asking “How many kicks Chino? How many kicks, and one kick left for me”. 

There should be a blog dedicated to theatrical urban legends. Like that opening weekend of Dracula where Dracula (still hungover) vomited all over the audience during the first stage direction that everyone has a friend of a friend that worked on the show and was there.

or the one where the bridge never came out for Javert’s suicide and so he just pretended to stab himself and then lay there until the lights went out

best story i heard was when a friend of mine saw a show where juliet forgot to bring the dagger out on stage so she just ripped the squib out of her chest and blood squirted everywhere

During a passion play a friend of my brother was supposedly in, one of the roman soldiers who was supposed to stab jesus on the cross and accidentally grabbed the wrong spear- he was supposed to grab one with a fake tip, but instead he grabbed one with an actual metal tip and, well

Jesus screamed “JESUS CHRIST YOU STABBED ME”.

Since that Jesus had to be taken down due to a bad case of stab-itis, the backup Jesus came in, but he weighed significantly less than the original Jesus- which would have been fine, except that at the end the cross was supposed to ascend upwards with Jesus on it, and the weights hadn’t been adjusted.

So Jesus, instead, ROCKETED UP into heaven (or, just, above the stage).

This is wild from start to finish

I was in Peter Pan once and one night at a performance, the adhesive holding our Hook’s mustache on was wearing off. It was near the end with a big fight scene and when he got attacked, he let his mustache fall and went “YOU RIPPED MY MUSTACHE OFF!” in a scandalized tone and it added a new note of hilarity to the whole scene (which was supposed to be funny anyway)

In my seventh grade play, which was a midsummer night’s dream, Thisbe didn’t have a sword so she stabbed herself with a coathanger

My junior year we were doing Romeo and Juliet and after Juliet poisons herself it was supposed to go dark and she’d get off the stage. well the light crew accidentally turned them back on and Juliet who was sitting up slammed back down on the wooden bed with a loud bang. To which my theater teacher says into the com “zombie Juliet” and everyone who heard that had to keep as quiet as possible while our eyes were filling with tears.

i attended my county’s performing arts high school majoring in vocal studies, (mostly geared towards musical theater and opera styles) and once a year we got a field trip to new york (we were in jersey, so it’s not exactly far). we would do one touristy thing, an actor’s workshop with friends of our teachers working in various performing industries in nyc, and then see a show. 

my first year doing this, our industry contacts were 1 actor, 1 casting director, and 1 producer to get different aspects of the business, and they all gave us amazing advice and told fantastic stories. the actor in question was Zazu on Broadway’s The Lion King for several years, and told the best story by far.

in The Lion King, there are only two pieces of pre-recorded noise in the whole show. one, when Pumbaa does a MASSIVE fart while fighting the hyenas, and the other being Mufasa saying REMEMBERRRRRR as Simba climbs Pride Rock. the actor told us while struggling not to laugh that, during one night’s performance, someone forgot to flip the tape of these pre-recorded noises.

so, at the end of the show, the great climax where Simba finally accepts his place in the Circle of Life, the heavens parted and-

PFFFFFFFFFRRRRRBTFTBTBFTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT

everyone froze. and then all ran off stage positively HOWLING with laughter.

the lesson: sometimes there are fuck ups you just can’t recover from.

(via ryukodragon)

phileasfogghorn:
“ olivercromwellcrowley:
“ I’m going to prove this wrong one point at a time, color-coded style for simplicity. Remember, children, I only highlighted the things that are utter bullshit. For bonus fun, read just the parts that are...

phileasfogghorn:

olivercromwellcrowley:

image

I’m going to prove this wrong one point at a time, color-coded style for simplicity. Remember, children, I only highlighted the things that are utter bullshit. For bonus fun, read just the parts that are not highlighted, i.e true.

Red— Oxytocin is released at many point in a person’s life for any number of reasons; including the ones mentioned above, social interaction, and masturbation.

Orange— Oxytocin does help foster an attachment in social situations, sex, and during its other times of release, but the attachment is by no means lifelong.

Yellow— Contrary to the hot mess way up above, men also release it during all the same situations women do, excluding the baby-having ones.

Green— Once the hormone levels fade back to baseline, there is no permanent change in thought or emotion due to the increase in Oxytocin

Blue— Oxytocin cannot cause lasting psychological damage unless there is a complete lack of its ability to be made, received, or processed.

Indigo— Humans are certainly not designed to have only one partner. The head of the human penis is extremely effective at removing the seed of other males, not to mention the fact that evolutionary biologist theorize that a woman’s moaning during sex was intended to attract other males to ensure pregnancy.

Violet— Multiple releases of Oxytocin actually increase the ability to synthesize more Oxcytocin. So, in theory, having more sex and positive social experiences will make you a more empathetic person and help you release more of it during situations where it is required.

Look at you, being wrong in all the colors of the rainbow.

My hero

(Source: brynn3, via saccharinecyanide)

[video]

theangryviolinist:
“mxcleod:
“The Huffington Post published this today
A large media organization posted this.
the tide is changing
the tide is going the right way
bernie sanders has a giant chance (x)
”
YOU GO BERNIE
”

theangryviolinist:

mxcleod:

The Huffington Post published this today

A large media organization posted this.

the tide is changing

the tide is going the right way

bernie sanders has a giant chance (x)

YOU GO BERNIE

(via thatsthat24)

nukepone asked: Taken by me. Right now. C'mon bb leggo.

mcsweezy:

stable86:

mcsweezy:

mcsweezy:

I only date people who will accept that i’m a gender-kin shovel with neon pink and green hair going down my hard wooden handle. My spade has eight peircings in a star pattern, and my grip is a level 21 warlock-kin. I use the pronouns shoveľ/shövel/shovél and all cisgender men must die.
I’m also stargender on the fourth, fifteenth and twentieth of each month except for october. In october, i’m actually a spoon.

I can’t believe I actually lost a follower after this
That
Is hilarious

I lose followers sometimes immediately after I joke about identifying as a pineapple.

What

shockingjokes-artbook asked: Kilala you don't understand. I thought you where so far out of my league. That I would annoy you and make you hate me like all the other people in my life

kilalabunnies:

rainbowmod:

demon-space-boi-deactivated2022:

PFFFFFFT I don’t hate anybody unless they do something to make me hate them. You’re good. And as I said I’m nothing more than a dork.

image

I was really nervous when I first got a tumblr. Mostly talking to people I didn’t knew. And I started freaking out talking to people. And tried to be very careful what I said.

Well I kind of understand this, heck the first time me and Sam started talking I was nervous around him since I loved his blog and his art style. But then I figured out he was a BIG nerd and I didn’t feel so nervous afterward.

I felt the same way when I started talking to warden. And I was freaking out when jestre started following me because I had imagined them to be like super yeah but they are huge nerds.

moviecat-supreme:

elphabaforpresidentofgallifrey:

The Jurassic Park problem could easily have been solved by making the dinosaurs miniature

That’d be so cute!
“We have a containment breach!”
“Everybody watch your toes! She likes to nibble!”

DO YOU FORGET THE BEGINNING OF LOST WORLD!?

(via saccharinecyanide)