Silver Tongue

May 31

deducecanoe:

ayellowbirds:

heytheredelilahpool:

eileenpaints:

peterpreciousparker:

escapedpatronus:

tHERE IT IS

YOU FOUDN IT OMFG

This is literally my favorite set of comic panels ever.

I connect with these panels on a spiritual level

this boy literally has a superhuman sense that warns him of danger in advance, but still makes decisions like these.

The major cause of Peter Parker’s problems is, in fact, Peter Parker.

(via robustquestioner-deactivated202)

petermaximoff:

toraziyals:

one time my old roommate made an account on some kind of website focused on finding job offers, and a random woman sent her a message that was like, “hello, i see you are a young woman who lives in maryland, i am looking for someone to legally marry my son for two years so that he can get cheaper tuition to a college in your state, would you be interested? i would pay you for doing this and you could get divorced afterwards”

it was SUPER WEIRD and she was of course like “no?? i won’t do this, what the fuck” BUT ANYWAYS IMO this should be everyone’s next strange fanfiction plot: “we got married for the college tuition because my mom secretly arranged it over the internet” au

okay but like two friends getting married for cheaper tution like hah we are geniuses this is a fool proof plan and we are completely platonic everything is fine haha i didnt just notice how beautiful your eyes are and how soft your hair feels LOVING THIS CHEAPER TUITION EVERYTHING IS FINE

Would any of my friends like to marry me so I can go to college cheaper?

(via robustquestioner-deactivated202)

[video]

jacob-the-king-blog1 asked: Can you draw a tiny lizard dragon that secretly hoards pennies?

ryukodragon:

iguanamouth:

Oh gosh I love this!!

I’m a bank teller in Canada, and at my branch I’m in charge of all the coins, and since we don’t use pennies anymore I literally take in all the rolls of pennies we get and HOARD them until it’s time to ship them out so THIS IS ME 8D

transyuri:

smolfairy:

sorrystars:

sorrystars:

hello if u want me to draw u as a dragon based on ur blog PLS reblog this and i’ll either submit it or post it and tag u!! PLS REBLOG THIS

why isn’t anyone letting me draw them as dragons

why havent u lready drawn me as a dragon i AM a dragon

i never reblog these because they always have over a thousand notes by the time i see them and im like ”hell no this person aint gonna draw me” but this only has like 20ish notes so i might get a chance to get drawn as a dragon

Sure, why not

(via robustquestioner-deactivated202)

chartini:

avenging-sherl0ck:

productofcanada:

joceln:

canada looks really broken

u ok canada

We are slowly trying to distance ourselves from the US…piece by piece.

be free

(via robustquestioner-deactivated202)

beyoncebeytwice:

magicconchshell:

wikihow is the most useless website ive ever seen in my life

(via saccharinecyanide)

• nb person: uses they/them pronouns
• people: but those are plural! because grammar!!! use singular pronouns.
• nb person: uses nounself pronouns like fae/faer or kit/kits
• people: what no you can't just make up pronouns!! those are ridiculous use words that already exist
• nb person: uses it/its pronouns
• people: those are dehumanizing! those are pronouns for things, not people! don't use those!!
• nb person: uses she/her or he/him pronouns
• people: but those are male and female pronouns not non-binary you can't be a real nb if you use those pronouns. use something gender neutral!
• nb person: uses common and decades-old invented pronouns like ze/hir or Spivak pronouns
• people: no those are made up and silly!
• nb person: uses no pronouns
• people: you?? can't just not use pronouns??? it's impossible to talk about people without pronouns wtf
• nb person: looks into camera like they're on the office

[video]

tehsmarticus:

crime-she-typed:

jamaicanamazon:

stopwhitepeopleforever:

Today’s lesson on White Privilege in America. A white man can shoot multiple people in a movie theater and still be painted as a “good guy” in the media. Meanwhile, a black man can get shot and killed in a library and the police can withhold evidence to create an excuse for shooting a man in a library.

Does it look like we fucking care what this murderer enjoyed watching

This headline is so absurd it’s hard for me to even believe it’s real

Looks like hes made an enormous mistake…

Smarty, while the pun is funny it is also inappropriate

(via smartydoesstuff)