You ready for this one? This is an inert cube of tungsten. It’s “geometrically perfect” in the sense that, uhhh, it’s a shape that exists in geometry. Tungsten is a dense element, so the cube is heavier than it looks. That’s it. That’s their entire selling point. This thing is so unspectacular that their Kickstarter page is full of misdirection and chicanery.
Yessir, those are definitely some elemental properties of tungsten. 70% denser than lead? Only 100 parts per billion in the earth’s crust? Take my money already! Specifically, take $209 for one kilogram of Tungsten. Hey, I wonder what the actual market price of tungsten is.
Oh, it’s $33/kg and falling. Well, surely the $176 price differential is due to manufacturing costs, right?
Haha nope. A bunch of Chinese manufacturers will sell you tungsten close to the market price in whatever damn shape you want for your desk or fuck room or wherever these people want to put their idiot cubes. You can also buy the stuff on Amazon (it’s used to balance pinewood derby cars, and I guarantee that’s how this guy got his dirty mitts on one in the first place).
But whatever. Why should we begrudge Jaime his success in arbitraging a random metal by bamboozling thousands of people who could maybe name a dozen elements on the periodic table, tops? Instead we here at YKS are going to join him by launching our first Kickstarter! Announcing Liquid Fusion Mega: Denser than Nitrogen. Called the “essence of life,” Dihydrogen Monoxide is a Space Age molecule capable of catalyzing fundamental biological processes. Scientists believe it’s the reason why the first living cells evolved. Why Dihydrogen Monoxide?
- 50% more viscous than petroleum
- Found in exotic creatures such as auks, mola molas, and the dreaded rhinoceros
- When turned solid, it actually increases in density
- A component of nuclear weapons
This is the ultimate conversation starter. The first 500 donors will get early bird access to 1 gallon containers of Dihydrogen Monoxide for the special Kickstarter price of $179.99. Get yours today!
