I spent the afternoon arranging our books by size and color (and it’s so satisfying and looks amazing) and my partner came home and stared in shock at the bookcase and then said “i’m a librarian, you can’t do this.”
him: you split up all the song of ice and fire books
me: yeah i know, they’re all primary colors, it’s perfect
him: [self-destructs]
You’re a monster
As a former bookstore employee, this hurts my soul. I mean, sure it looks nice, but how do you find anything?
it has occurred me during this process that apparently not everyone thinks about books by what color they are? like, literally when i’m looking for a book, i picture it in my mind. i have a very…tactile experience with the books i read and idk! i thought everyone did that lol.
my partner was like “how will i find [this book] for instance” and i replied “easy, it’s purple” and he looked at me like i was a witch.
OP your brain is neat and I love you for it you funky little color-coded cupcake. But you’re still a monster.
omg so yesterday i put a salt line on the pathway to our front door because i was fucking around and my brother was pretending to be a demon
and today we ordered pizza and the salt line was still there
and my brother went outside to sign for the pizza
and the pizzaman refused to step over the salt line, like he almost did and then he backed up and handed my bro the pizza and left; which is pretty ridiculous because it’s far from our door
so a heads up to everyone i’m pretty sure domino’s is actually run by demons??? kind of like how in men in black the post office is run by aliens
What if they thought you guys were the demons
imagine two demons in love but having a bit of a spat so they put salt lines to divide the house like how humans in tv use duct tape
Americans are so competitive. Even with people that they like. We ought to start a propaganda campaign like “Sweden has a higher voter turnout rate than us! Are you going to let them win?”
“Britain has better class mobility than us and they literally have a queen! Are you gonna let some corporations stop us from being wealthier than the British, you pussy? Vote for politicians that put higher taxes on the rich and we can beat them!”
“The United States has the worst healthcare of anywhere in the world! Are you gonna just stand by and let that happen? Vote for universal healthcare! Make us #1!”
And then put like some explosions and patriotic music in the background. Get some super famous football players to yell it at the screen. People will listen then. Get a skinny white lady in a stars and stripes bikini holding a big gun to sensually say it to the camera. Slowly create a culture where being a conservative makes you a weenie.
