I Promise I’m Not a Murderer: The Story of a Researching Writer
now with a sequel:
I Swear I’m Not Pregnant, I’m Just Naming Characters
Don’t forget: I’m not Trying to Break Into This Building, I Just Need to Know the Layout of it
And the ever appealling: I’m Not Planning on Killing Myself, I Just Need to Know How a Character Could Commit Suicide Whilst Making it Look Like a Murder
I recommend
I’m Not a Terrorist, I Just Need to Know How a Criminal Mastermind Would Properly Construct a Bomb
And my personal favourite
I Swear I’m Not Sick I Just Like Making Characters Suffer By Giving Them Deadly Diseases
How about: I’m Not Religious, I’m Only Trying to Invent Scientific Words with Parts of Dead Languages
I’m Not a Priest, I Just Need to Know Various Methods of Exorcism
You’re forgetting the ever amazing I’m Not A Drug Addict I Just Need To Know How Much Heroin Costs and What Will Happen To Me If I Take It
#wow all these new fob song titles are cool (via wayward-sons-and-fallen-angels)
Clearly some of these are P!ATD
(via deep-sea-prince)
Anonymous asked: You must meet some scary people in your job. Who's the scariest person you've met?
She even has an arena on reserve for the fights
Anonymous asked: Quartz! tell us the secrets of your friends!
And Alice ███████ ████ ███████ ███ ██████
silver-tongues-blog asked: me and anyone in the coop
demon-space-boi-deactivated2022:
(Bleh, curse you for making this harder than it should be >:U Just for that I’m choosing Factory)
- leaves their dirty clothes on the floor: Silver
- forgets to run the dish washer: Factory
- pumps gas for the car: Silver
- drives when they’re going somewhere: Silver
- rearranges the furniture: Factory
- falls asleep with the TV on: Silver
- gets to use the bathroom first: Factory
- decides the temperature for the ac/heater: Factory
- sets up holiday decorations: Silver
- leaves the lights on: Silver
- uses the bathroom with the door open: Silver
- fixes the plumbing (or calls the plumber): Factory
sounds about right
things that were established about azure quartz today
he is addicted to coffee
he has only two friends
he likes marshmallows in his coffee
he stays up for days working on cases
Send Me A Ship And I’ll Say Who:
- leaves their dirty clothes on the floor
- forgets to run the dish washer
- pumps gas for the car
- drives when they’re going somewhere
- rearranges the furniture
- falls asleep with the TV on
- gets to use the bathroom first
- decides the temperature for the ac/heater
- sets up holiday decorations
- leaves the lights on
- uses the bathroom with the door open
- fixes the plumbing (or calls the plumber)
(via demon-space-boi-deactivated2022)
Anonymous asked: How much coffee do you drink in a day, and does anyone make coffee for you?
I often have to stay up for days at a time working my cases. As a result, the days kind of blur together
people expect to much from me
I wish I could become a sexy goat girl when I take off my shirt
(via markiplier)
centurymage asked: do yu like marshmallows?
Anonymous asked: So, Quartz, do you have any friends in the law also?
They are the only friends I have, but they are the only friends I need