my brother yelled “HOLLA” at me and he was like “you’re supposed to say holla back” and I immediately replied “I ain’t no holla back girl” and it’s an hour later and I’m still laughing
(via deep-sea-prince)
#Wall decals about bible verses will class up any kitchen #You should come to my Thirty-One party
I can’t stop. There are too many:
#I’m the best mom on this field trip and everyone knows it #Have you read Eat, Pray, Love? #Let’s get lattes after Zumba! #Gluten causes Autism #I will have him pulled out of your class #Oh shoot, I forgot I volunteered to bring brownies to faith group tonight #We don’t let him watch more than one hour of TV a day #Stick figure family window sticker #(whispers behind hand) you’ve got to read 50 Shades of Grey
Forgive me. I am a mother, and I walk among these women every day. I have adopted their ways as a form of camouflage.
dying
ITS BACK AND IT GOT BETTER
(via deep-sea-prince)
imagine a horror movie where you’re trapped in your house with a serial killer but all your lights are clappers
so you’re running for your life from this psychopath while both of you are just aggressively clapping the lights on and off
out of all my 3:00 AM ramblings you guys decide to make this one popular
(via deep-sea-prince)
In all my years of reblogging shit, this has got to be the best picture to grace the page of tumblr. I don’t know why but this picture makes me very emotional.
It’s everything I ever wanted for that little table.
(via paper-shepard-deactivated201610)
[video]
my life is a little too much panic and not enough disco
my life is a little too much fall and not enough boy
my life isn’t very romantic or chemical because theY FUCKING BROKE UP
My life is america that I want to reject because america sucks a lot but still has the audacity to say it’s the best.
(via guardingafterdawn-deactivated20)
“why be straight and cis when u can be queer and tr-”
hi lets not treat lgbtq+ identities like fashion trends
also not send us back years by acting like it’s a choice??????
(via deep-sea-prince)
Is it wrong to be happy that I gave Io a glow dick?
Glow dicks make your pets easier to see in the dark
@y’all you’re welcome
Oh man, this reminds me of one of the things I witnessed when working with some of my favorite kids after school, back when they were in kindergarten. It was getting close to our winter break.
I was in a small room coloring with a few of them, and one of them goes, “okay, wait, none of the kids in this room do Christmas, right?”
And they all reply that no, they don’t do Christmas, they all do Hanukkah.
“Okay, you all know The Secret, right? That Santa Claus is their parents? My parents told me last year, but it’s a secret, and we CAN’T tell the Christian kids.”
So the Jewish kids at my school have definitely has conferences on how seriously they take that responsibility.
once my first grade class went to go visit santa and i was too nervous to opt out because if i just raised my hand in line and said ‘santa isn’t real though, i’m not doing this’ everyone would be super crushed and i took the teacher aside and explained the problem and she said brightly ‘well i’m sure santa listens to every little boy and girl!’ and i was like welp.
so i quietly stood in line for santa, sat on his lap, and when he said ‘ho ho ho, little girl, and what would YOU like’ i leaned in and whispered ‘they made me do this, but i know you’re not real. i’m jewish.’ to let him know he could take a break or something and he said ‘oh! well then!’ like he had no idea what to say to that and i had this horrible little kid realization that i’d just invalidated his entire job of pretending to be santa so i said ‘i really like your beard though’ and he said something jolly like ‘ho ho, you’re too kind!’ and then it was the next kid’s turn.
he smelled nice though. good job, pretend santa man.
tbh I feel bad for all the 12 year olds on here who are about to have some real shit broken to them
(via deep-sea-prince)
“Every time someone says we don’t need feminism anymore, things like this come to mind. Due to insufficient dowry this young girl’s husband lacerated her face with a razor blade.” (Gwalior - India) - ph. Adrian Fisk
if you say you don’t need feminism, you are selfish. selfish that you have not stop to think about the millions of girls and women and trans women who are either getting killed, mutilated, raped, or sold into sex slavery and child marriages. for fucks sake, the women’s right to vote in the US isnt even a hundred years old yet. women in the work force is still recent. the first american women to go into space was in 1983. the firs women to be credited for a marvel movie just happened. like firsts are still happening. and women are still getting murdered for being women. WE NEED FEMINISM.
(via deep-sea-prince)