“there were no black people in the film brave”
“there were no fat people in the les mis film”
there were no humans in cars
there were no rats in a bugs life
there were no cats in that documentary about dogs i watched last week
“there were no black people in the film brave”
“there were no fat people in the les mis film”
there were no humans in cars
there were no rats in a bugs life
there were no cats in that documentary about dogs i watched last week
There were no horses in star wars
(via saccharinecyanide)
[video]
“this isn’t an accurate depiction of scootaloo”
“the artwork sux”
“*insert rp start*”
“draw mai O-sea”
“hey can I babysit scoots?”
Your art is better than mine
My art is pretty mediocre
can I babysit scoots?
(via demon-space-boi-deactivated2022)
What if when you die, you get reborn as what killed you? Like, if you are killed by a human then you are reborn human but if you get mauled by a tiger you get reborn as a tiger?
darkflames-secret-luna-corner:
my follower count is my birth year
did you know jesus personally?
slam DUNKED
That’s right I’m a time traveller from humanity’s distant future where we’ve cured all diseases and we still love moon-themed little horses.
Das right, I’m Theodoric the great, king of the Ostrogoths!
(via darkflames-secret-luna-corner)
(via guardingafterdawn-deactivated20)
I hate that I laughed at this
“Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there,” and another one appears. And dodges the downward sweep of claws, darting to the side, bouncing off the pentagram’s barriers, and tripping over the demon’s tail. “In the Vatican!” she cries out as she moves, using the State Farm Agent summoning charm to modify the situation as she was taught, and mentally thanking her trainer for expecting her to be fast enough to do it on the first incantation.
Most State Farm agents, when they run into trouble, have to get the customer to do the jingle a second time. That guy with the buffalo was lucky.
The magic takes hold, and she materializes in the aisle of St. Peter’s Basilica, still holding the demon by the tail, in the middle of Sunday morning Mass. The music clatters unprofessionally to a halt as laypeople, deacons, priests, monks, nuns, and the Pope all turn their attention to the surprised demon whose fifth course of dinner has turned, unaccountably, into a visit to one of his least favorite places on Earth.
There is chanting in Latin, and vaguely cross-shaped gestures, and clouds of incense, and the demon vanishes in a puff of smoke, whether from the efforts of the clergy or of his own volition no one can say. The Agent doesn’t wait, fleeing towards the doors and escaping in the confusion.
She gains the exit and walks, purposefully, toward Rome proper; there, she ducks into the nearest alley. A burner cell phone comes out of one of the less-used pockets of her purse, and she dials a number from memory.
“Allstate,” says a smooth masculine voice after three rings.
“State Farm,” she answers. “I’m calling in a favor.”
“Yeah?” Interest. “What sort?”
As she talks she’s pulling out her smartphone, keying an app that was activated by the summoning, and pulling up the policyholder data that enabled the incantation to work.
“Insurance fraud,” she said, and can almost hear teeth sharpening on the other end of the line. She gives him the name, the address, the policy number. “Someone needs some mayhem.”
“That’s my name,” the man says.
She smiles. “Someone needs all the mayhem.”
He chuckles. Slow. Evil. Even with the echoes of demonic laughter ringing in her ears, she’s impressed. “Don’t worry,” he says, almost purring.
“You’re in good hands.”
THERE ARE PEOPLE ON THIS WEBSITE THAT CAN WRITE INSURANCE FANFICTION WORTH OF A PRINTZ AWARD AND THEY’RE MAKING 50 SHADES INTO A MOVIE THERE IS NO JUSTICE IN THIS WORLD
murderforajarofredrum-deactivat:
Friendly reminder that nothing in your life can ever be as difficult as Mr. Ratburn’s 3rd grade class.
This is supposed to be 3rd grade math people. 3RD. GRADE. MATH.
I get less homework in my college classes than the kids get in Mr. Ratburn’s class.
Mr. Ratburn is seriously overworking these kids, they must be under a ton of stress.
wasn’t the rabbit always on the verge of having a panic attack?
(via jwcartoonist)
people are mad that markiplier basically said “no one should be hitting anyone and self defense against someone who has hurt you is okay regardless of gender” like
that is literally the opposite of sexist so i’m just really confusedPeople are also forgetting Markiplyer was in a relationship with an abusive female too
If women want to be treated equally, they should expect retaliation if they were to attack someone.
(via mysticbacon-deactivated20141221)
This is actually heartbreaking when you remember Lilo tells Stitch her parents went for a drive, and the bad weather caused them to crash.
I always thought this scene was adorable
Wow thanks guy
Right in the childhood.
i never made that connection
Oh my god. That’s why it’s so important to her. Oh my god
this is tragic.
That is not okay but it explains a lot about why she does stuff.
