honestly the best thing i’ve done in the past year was replacing “i wanna die” with “i wanna commit a crime.” same humor and sentiment without the suicidal ideation
*rarity smiles mischievously* dont look so surprised to find me here… ive been waiting for you
what
*rarity is suddenly furious* youve been smoking again, after you told me youd given it up? stoney pony ive told you: either the weed goes or i go!
dude are we talking horses
sometimes art theft is worth the memories you will share with your friends for years to come, after one of them finds this post and then sends it to you while having no idea you drew a weed pony as a joke back in 2012
sincerely, the person who drew the weed pony as a joke in 2012 and now gets to experience whiplash every so often when this post crosses his dash
what if there was a show where the main character follows
The Faceless™ trope (sporting a cool mask/helmet) but at no point in the series, no matter the circumstances or how far you are into the plot, removes it. you just never see their face and it never comes up as “the big reveal”. thats the trope.
oh you think theres gonna be an exception for you just because youre the main character’s romantic interest and you need a spicy scene? hell NO! you’re getting the same treatment as everyone else dumbass
make their very split second views of their face. like an upward angle shot of the character and you can see a small part of their chin. a side view and you can see the bridge of their nose through the visor. just the smallest hints
The most hilarious thing about the fact Buckbeak had a trial and lost is that later on JKR resolves the issue by having Hagrid take him in again and renaming him Witherwings. That’s literally all it took. What if in POA, Hagrid simply said, “Sorry, Buckbeak flew away.”
“There’s a hippogriff right there, Hagrid.”
“A different hipprogriff.”
“I’m… pretty sure that’s the same hipprogriff.”
“Prove it.”
no dna tests we die like scientifically underdeveloped societies
Prisoner of Azkaban continues to be the most frustrating book
Someone should have just adopted Sirius and started calling him Gerald.
Remus: Erm… this is our new order member, my… cousin Gerald. Gerald White.
“Mr. Lupin that is Sirius Black with glasses!” “Oh come now Minister, Sirius Black doesn’t wear glasses. That wouldn’t make sense.” “Well have Mr. White take off his glasses then!” “He can’t he needs them to see.”
it got better
It’s honestly a miracle to me that wizarding society doesn’t collapse every other week because like
You’ve got this world full of people who can destroy whole buildings or turn people into beetles or make vehicles fly just by waving a stick at them
And there is literally no common sense
Anywhere to be found
Voldemort would never have had anyone find out he was back if he just went around calling himself Steve
Okay, see, I thought I saved this post to comment on it but I’d like to bring up
The Minister would NEVER EVER disbelieve in Gerald White. He’d buy it hook line and sinker. The wizarding world would buy it hook line and sinker. The GOBLINS wouldn’t but wizards have been shown to be pretty blindingly clueless. Still, Gringotts would grudgingly give Sirius access to the Black fortune.
But, but, but, you know the one person
the one person
who Gerald White would drive AB-SO-LUTELY FUCKING BATSHIT?
Severus Snape.
Snape would do everything, EVERYTHING, to get people to believe that it’s Sirius. But the Order would ignore it (they accepted Sirius as Sirius before anyway) and Remus would just be so… so affronted.
‘Severus, he is my cousin.’
And Sirius would love it. He’d love the fact that Snape just hated it. He’d be the BEST DAMN GERALD WHITE EVER b/c Snape is doing everything from dropping veritaserum into his firewhisky to capturing a dementor in a box and releasing it on Sirius when he least expects it
That one causes problems for a bare minute because SHIT A DEMENTOR ATTEMPTED TO GIVE GERALD THE KISS MAYBE SNAPE IS RIGHT except Harry comes forward and is like ‘excuse me, I’ve never committed a crime and dementors are ALWAYS attacking me, I think they’re attracted to glasses’
and the magical community is like ‘shit, yeah, you’re right’
and just
Spare. Snape goes spare.
Now I’m imagining Fred and George sneaking extra Weasleys into Snape’s class manifests every year.
imagine harry using a polyjuice potion to make “sirius black” be in the same room as gerald white as “proof” that hes not sirius. snape, being a potions expert, would be able to call the bluff but everyone would be like “clearly they were in the same room at the same time. theyre obviously different people!”
