before i had gotten close with ex-catholics i was under the assumption that “catholic guilt” was mostly about sex, or serious topics.
but i was naïve. it’s apparently about every positive experience. enjoying a meal? you’re so lucky, children are starving. spending your day off cosy in bed? wow, so selfish, homeless people are freezing to death.
every former or present catholic i’ve met has a very obvious anxiety disorder and it’s so painfully not a coincidence.
Roses are red, that much is true, but violets are purple, not fucking blue.
I have been waiting for this post all my life.
They are indeed purple, But one thing you’ve missed: The concept of “purple” Didn’t always exist.
Some cultures lack names For a color, you see. Hence good old Homer And his “wine-dark sea.”
A usage so quaint, A phrasing so old, For verses of romance Is sheer fucking gold.
So roses are red. Violets once were called blue. I’m hugely pedantic But what else is new?
My friend you’re not wrong
About Homer’s wine-ey sea!
Colours are a matter
Of cultural contingency;
Words are in flux
And meanings they drift
But the word purple
You’ve given short shrift.
The concept of purple,
My friends, is old
And refers to a pigment
once precious as gold.
By crushing up molluscs
From the wine-dark sea
You make a dye:
Imperial decree
Meant that in Rome,
to wear purpura was a privilege reserved
For only the emperor!
The word ‘purple’,
for clothes so fancy,
Entered English
By the ninth century
.
Why then are voilets
Not purple in song?
The dye from this mollusc,
known for so long
Is almost magenta;
More red than blue.
The concept of purple
is old, and yet new.
The dye is red,
So this might be true:
Roses are purple
And violets are blue
.
While this song makes me merry, Tyrian purple dyes many a hue From magenta to berry And a true purple too.
But fun as it is to watch this poetic race The answer is staring you right in the face: Roses are red and violets are blue Because nothing fucking rhymes with purple.
‘Taiwan was engulfed in “salmon chaos” (鮭魚之亂) this week as more than 300 people legally changed their names to “salmon” (鮭魚) to take advantage of a promotion at a Taiwanese sushi chain.’
‘The Chinese word for salmon (鮭魚) is pronounced “gui yu.” People with a Chinese character in their name pronounced “gui” or “yu” got 10% off, people with two characters pronounced “gui” and “yu” got 50% off, and people with the exact same characters for salmon ate for free.’
‘Sushiro required a national ID card as evidence, but it turns out it’s extremely easy and cheap to legally change your name in Taiwan. It only costs ~$3 US ($80 NTD). This led dozens to rush out and change their names, like this person, who changed their name to “Salmon Liu.”
‘While many simply renamed themselves “Salmon,” others got more creative, such as “Whirlpool Naruto Salmon Xie” (謝渦鳴人鮭魚) and “Die (like salmon) Together Pan” (潘同鮭魚盡), punning on the Chinese idiom for “perish together” (同歸於盡). 5/’
‘One certain Mr. Chen decided to put a whole bunch of other food in his new name as well (in case of future promotions?), becoming the nearly untranslatable “陳愛台灣鮑鮪鮭魚松葉蟹海膽干貝龍蝦和牛肉美福華君品晶華希爾頓凱薩老爺.”
‘
‘Tragedy also struck for some Salmon Gang members, such as this medical student, who did not realize that Tawainese law only allows people to change their name three times ever.
Out of name changes, he is stuck with his new name, “Salmon Dream Chang.”
‘
