“Ah, Perry the Platypus! I see you found my Goose-inator 3000! As you can see, it turns anyone into a goose! With this I will turn EVERYONE into a goose and finally take over the Tri-State Area! Wait, what are you doing — WAIT OW! OW! STOP THAT!”
back when I was around five years old I ended up jumping out of a moving car on the highway (a road my dad still points out to us every time we pass it), this had many factors to it such as:
my family did not believe in seat belts or child safety locks
I was obsessed with cheetahs at the time and thought that if I jumped out and landed on my feet I could run alongside the car like some sort of superhuman tiny cat-human-mutant
it did not work out like this
the most unbelievable part of this story was that I jumped out and then ROLLED across the rest of the highway and under a truck
luckily, I was really tiny and went right underneath the body and between the wheels
God really does protect fools and babies apparently- which I was both
a mom in a red mini-van was the first to stop and come out to get me and was like ‘IS THIS SOMEONE’S KID?? WHY IS THIS SOMEONES CHILD.’ I still remember you mom in a red mini-van, you were a real one
I was surprisingly fine outside of a few scrapes and a bad headache. Despite the headache tho my family did not take me to the hospital
they took me to get taco bell instead
I just like, need some reassurance OP’s parents got better at parenting
they did not, but thank you for your concern lol, it if makes you feel better it was a really freaking great Crunch Wrap Supreme
